Pray for the Entire World

Yesterday, I mentioned that David Platt ended his book Radical with the challenge to partake in a one-year experiment. The plan includes five components, which will provide pratical ways for you to live boldly, radically, for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

The first step is to pray for the entire world.

If you are like me, you have trouble praying for your closest family members and friends on a daily basis. At least something more than, "God, please be with so-and-so," or, "Father, please guide and direct them," or maybe even, "Jesus, make Yourself known in their lives today." I think what Platt has in mind is a little bit more earnest than that. So, how I am going to pray for the entire world when I can't even manage serious prayer for the people I actually see every day?

Platt suggests using a wonderful resource, the book called Operation World.

Each day you read about a different country and learn what the specific prayer needs are for the people there. I used this book when I taught 5th grade. Every morning we would skim over the facts about the country for the day, find it on the map, discuss the prayer requests, and then pray for God to be made known in that country. Since I became a stay-at-home mom, all my school stuff got put away in boxes in our storage area downstairs. It's past time for me to go dig out that book, brush off the dust, and start using it once again. I think it would be fun to get a huge black and white world map as well. We could post in somewhere in the house. Then, as we pray for a country, we could color it in and watch our world grow more beautiful throughout the year. Kind of symbolic of what can happen as we pray for the entire world: God will hear our prayers and act; the gospel will spread; people will come to know Jesus, and they will experience life abundantly.

While praying for the entire world can seem quite overwhelming at first glance, if you break it down and just take it one day, one country, at a time, it's really not that hard at all.

Plus, Platt explains, as you pray for people around the world, you will develop a heart for the nations. As you learn about people who don't know about Jesus, you will be motivated to share the gospel with them, or make it possible for others to do so. This is where it gets radical. You move from "simply" praying for the entire world, to actually going into all the world.

Right about now, my mom is going to pick up the phone and call me to see if we are planning on moving overseas and taking her precious granddaughters with us. Not yet...

We are certainly open to leaving the United States and serving God wherever He leads us. While we are more than willing to go, we haven't felt like God is calling us to pack up and move out this instant. (Insert huge sigh of relief from the grandparents.) He hasn't shown us that path yet, and so we just keep following Him one step at at a time. If He does lay a specific place or people group on our heart, we will walk through any door He opens. (Now all the grandparents are praying that He wants us right where we are, forever.)

Once again, this is where the rubber meets the road, where the going gets tough (pun intended). And as they say, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going."

But it's not safe. What if something happens to you? What about your children? They're so young; you don't want to put them in any sort of danger.

Life won't be easy. You'll have to give up the things you are used to here in the States. What about doctors? What about safe drinking water and electricity and paved roads?

Lots of reasons not to go. Excuses, really. But "reasons" is more politically correct.

Platt takes all those reasons, excuses, and turns them back on the people who question the practicality and safety of going.

It's not safe. Jesus never said following Him would be easy, let alone safe. In fact, He promised hardship, persecution even, for those who believe in Him. And what if something does happen to you, or your children? If you don't go, if you don't take the gospel to the nations, then it's guarnateed something is going to happen to the people who never hear of Jesus. They will spend eternity in hell. Now that's dangerous!

Life won't be easy. What's more important, our personal comfort now or people's eternal destiny? If giving up electricity and running water and paved roads, or whatever else, means that people come to know Jesus, then I think the "sacrifice" is worthwhile. Platt shared multiple stories of missionaries who not only gave up modern conveniences, but risked their very lives, to share the gospel. Many did indeed die. Take Jim Elliot, for example. However, their deaths were not in vain. As a result of their sacrifice, others gained life, eternal life, as they trusted Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

Well, Kellah woke up from her nap, so I guess I will have to stop here. And later today, I'll have to find that book so we can start using it tonight. As we begin to pray for the entire world, and start living more radically for Jesus, who knows where our journey will take us?

Going For It

I just finished Radical by David Platt. His words were challenging, to say the least. I was inspired, and convicted, deeply. But it can't end there. I can't just read the book and do nothing. I must act upon what I have read. That requires me making some changes in my life. And that is scary.

Platt reminded me, though, that I shouldn't be afraid to live radically. After all, Jesus told His disciples to "fear not, for I will be with you always." Yes, but Jesus also promised them they would endure hardships of all sorts. How exactly does that work?! Platt asks, "How can Jesus say that His disciples would be betrayed, hated, and persecuted but they would not need to fear?" He then answers his own question, "We have nothing to fear because God is sovereign."

That's one of those things that you know in your head but have a hard time getting into your heart, and then living like you really, truly believe it.

Platt assures us, however, that God's sovereignty is "the testimony of all Scripture. From the story of Job to Paul’s description of Satan’s attack in his life in 2 Corinthians 12, we see how Satan not only acts within the sovereign permission of God but also ends up accomplishing the sovereign purposes of God. Indeed, this is what the Cross is all about. Satan’s strategy to defeat the Son of God only served to provide salvation for sinners."

I think, too, of Joseph. His brothers wanted him dead, but then decided to make a profit off their brother, whom they hated. So they sold him into slavery, figuring he would die anyway. Little did they know that Joseph would one day save their very lives. When they met up with their brother again, they feared for their lives, afraid Joseph would use his position of power to get revenge. Nope, Joseph amazes them with this statement, "What you intended for harm, God used for good. You didn't send me here; God did. To save your lives."

It's easy for us to see that. We know the whole story. Joseph sure didn't. He was in the middle of it, while it was still being written. Yet, he trusted God, completely. His faith didn't waver, at least not that we can tell. No matter his circumstances, Joseph lived boldly for His Lord.

If he can do it, so should I.

Lately, though, I have been struggling with understanding, and accepting, God's plans. When things don't turn out the way I want, when I don't like what happens, I question WHY God has allowed such terrible things. I get frustrated, fight against anger, and am left feeling helpless. Not to mention I begin to doubt God's sovereignty.

That's when I have to get back into the Word, and read again the stories of Job, Daniel, Ruth, Esther, and countless others who put their lives on the line for Jesus. I have to remember Paul was in prison when he wrote, "Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him...I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!"

I really do want my life to count, and so I must be willing to go for it, to love God passionately, to pursue Christ wholeheartedly, no matter the cost, because I know anything I lose is nothing compared to what, WHO really, I will gain in the end.

As Platt challenges us in his book, "If your life, or my life, is going to count on earth we must start concentrating on heaven. For then, and only then, will you and I be free to take radical risk, knowing that what awaits us is radical reward."

He goes on, "This, we remember, is the great reward of the gospel: God Himself. When we risk our lives to run after Christ, we discover the safety that is found only in His sovereignty, the security that is found only in His love, and the satisfaction that is found only in His presence. This is the eternally great reward and we would be foolish to settle for anything less."

Then, to end his book, Platt provides a practical way to apply what you have just read. He invites his readers to do a one-year experiment of radically living for Jesus. In this plan, you do five things:

*pray for the entire world

*read through the entire Word

*sacrifice your money for a specific purpose

*spend your time in another context

*commit your life to a multiplying community

And I'm going to go for it. I should probably talk to Lawrence about this first, but given our conversations lately, I am pretty sure he is on board too. We just have to figure out what exactly these 5 things are going to look like for our family.

As we do, I plan to write about each of the 5 aspects of Platt's one-year experiment. I am excited to see what God has in store for us, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared at the same time. I am afraid, because "going for it" involves unknowns, which I don't particularly like.

But, I am going to have to be okay with that and choose to focus on the one thing I do know with all certainty. As Paul put it, "but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."

I got to visit with Grace and Brian a little bit today.

Right after Samuel was born, a MealTrain was started, and by the time I got around to visiting the site, the first available date for me to sign up was today. When I added my name to the list and marked April 2 on my calendar, I had no idea that I would be taking a meal to the Allens just 2 days after they said good-bye to their precious baby boy.

Needless to say, I knew the Allens needed more than just food, but honestly, I didn't know what to say or not say. I didn't have any magic words. I certainly wish that I could snap my fingers and everything would be all better. But, unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way.

I wasn't even sure if I would have the opportunity to talk with the family at all. I know that their hearts are still raw and they need time alone to grieve and mourn and comfort each other as a family. I was ready to just put the food on the porch, ring the doorbell to let them know supper had arrived, and drive away. Brian and Grace came to the door, though, and were kind enough to let me spend some time with them.

Coralyn and Micah, the Allens 2-year old (almost) son, played in the front yard. The ground was covered with "helicopters" which Micah wanted to make fly, over and over again. Here is Grace, kneeling down and showing Coralyn how to make the "helicopter" fly and then spin to the ground again. Just then the wind blew and hundreds of "helicopters" came fluttering down all at once. "That was a God present for us, wasn't it?!" Grace exclaims. In the midst of her pain and sadness, she finds joy in the little things. Even in her hurt, she was able to worship.

A bit later, we were talking on the porch while the kidlets climbed Micah's playhouse and went down the slide. Grace was sharing with me about some of the families she met while in the NICU. Some got to go home with their babies, rejoicing. Others, like her, didn't get to take their babies home and left empty-handed and brokenhearted. Still others haven't left yet; they are waiting for their babies to get better. Waiting and praying. And so Grace says with tears in her eyes, "If God lays it on your heart, pray for Baby David and his family." Each morning they hold their breath, wondering if their son is going to make it another day. "He's so precious," Grace assures me. Yet again, I am blown away. She has just lost her baby, and she is asking me to pray for someone else. Her heart is so tender.

And I will pray for Baby David and his family, for sure. But I will also keep praying for Grace and Brian, daily. I can't even begin to imagine the emotions they are experiencing. "I just wanted to bring him home." What can I say? "I wanted to hear his little feet running through the hall." Grace knows the distinct sound of each of her children's pitter patters, and she wanted to learn what Samuel's feet would sound like when as he made his way around the house. Again, what do you say? I flat out told Grace, "I don't know what to say except that I am so sorry." She let me know that was okay, that she just needed someone to be sad with her. That I can do.

With my sadness, though, comes prayer. And so I asked Grace how I could be praying for her, for Brian, for the family. She was so transparent. She didn't ask for strength or comfort or anything of that nature. No, she asked for help in fighting against anger. She doesn't want to walk down that road. She has before, she told me, and she doesn't want to go there again. Instead, she wants God to use her to bring glory to His name. She wants the words to say so that others come to Jesus. When Samuel was in the hospital they would cry out for God to wake him up, and God seemed to respond, "Look at all the souls I am waking up through this, through your son." And it was true; many people joined together in prayer, some for the first time ever. We grew bolder in our faith. We become more and more desperate for God Himself. Grace doesn't want that to stop, for people to go back to sleep spiritually, for people to doubt God or question Him. Even though God didn't answer our prayers the way we wanted, Grace longs to see God get massive amounts of glory. That was what she asked me to pray for, of all things!

I totally understand having to fight against being mad at God. I have been there before. I am there now really, and I'm not even the one who lost her baby. When we had our miscarriage in 2010, I wanted to shake my fists at God, to punch Him in the face if I am going to be honest. I was hurt and confused. I wanted answers, but all I seemed to get was silence. Then, as if God was whispering in my ear, He reminded me that He shares my pain, that in fact He has experience every emotion I was at the time. "But You haven't lost a child!" I screamed back. "Um, yes I have. I gave up my one and only Son, to die on the cross, for YOUR sins. So I do know what it's like to lose a child. I do. And I am here for You now, to comfort you and heal your wounded heart."

In one of my other blogs I posted the words to a song by Mercy Me. Grace said she had read the lyrics over and over again, but was having a hard time with "God is close to the brokenhearted." So, so true. When we are hurting and nothing makes sense, it's hard to feel God's presence, to be filled with that peace He promises. Rather, you think you are all alone. You are tired. Weak. In the dark. Helpless. Fearful. And that is exactly what Satan wants.

Speaking of Satan, I really want to punch him in the face, and then kick him in the ribs while he's down. I have had enough of him and his antics. I am sick and tired of situations like this and ready for Jesus to come back, to put an end to all these tears. Then Satan can go to hell, and stay there!

Until then, though, I have to choose to trust God, to believe "He who began a good work will complete it." Grace told me that's what she is doing, or trying very hard to do. I have to accept that God's plans are better than mine, that He will use this for good, and bring glory to His name through it all. If Grace can do that, then surely I can too.

And as we do, I believe God will be glorified.

Splish! Splash!

Spring -- I mean SUMMER -- is here! With a near-record setting high of 87 yesterday and well on our way to 90 today, I think we have jumped right past spring into the heart of summer! At least for a couple of days anyway.

Given the unusually warm weather and Coralyn's intense desire to be outside every second, I figured we could get out the mini swimming pool today. I set it up in the shade so both girls could enjoy the water.

Yep, I pretty sure they had a blast!

And I am almost confident Coralyn will ask for two things when she gets up from her nap (yes! she is actually sleeping today!). First will be to have the candy from Carson's birthday party. Second will be to play in the swimming pool.

Happy Birthday, Carson!

Today is Carson's birthday, and we got to help him celebrate turning 4!

Coralyn jumped on one of the many vehicles right away.

She needed a quick lesson in steering, and stopping!

Coralyn riding on the "rollercoaster" they made.

After she rode the rollercoaster, she tried out the slide.

Next, she played in the house with Saba and Sam.

Then, she was on to draw with the sidewalk chalk.

Let's try out this jeep!

She wasn't too sure about the big ball that you could get inside and roll around in.

She was sure, though, that she needed to be right next to Carson while he opened presents.

She also thought it was very important to pick up all the tissue paper, immediately.

Let's eat!

She had to sit right by Carson.

Time for cake!

Apparently, Coralyn couldn't wait to finish singing, "Happy Birthhday, Carson!"

See that finger swipe in the corner?

That would be from my daughter's finger :)

Granted, she did just watch another little girl lick the other side of the cake!

Once she did get her cake and ice cream, I don't think she could shovel in her mouth fast enough.

Pinata time!

Thankfully, Coralyn didn't hit the little boy going after a piece of candy!

Coralyn getting a big hug from Saba and Carson.

We miss Carson so much and are thankful for the 2 years we had with him!

Coralyn wasn't the only one who had fun at the party.

Kellah seemed to enjoy herself quite a bit as well!

Sound of Music

I have been grieving for Brian and Grace all morning. I was praying for them while I was running earlier. I was once again begging God to heal their baby boy.

Little did I know, Baby Samuel was already in the arms of Jesus.

Lawrence got the email and let me know the sad news as I got out of the shower.

Ever since then, it's seems as if every single song that has played on K-Love was meant specificially for me, for all of us who are trying to get our hearts and minds around the plans and purposes that God has in all this, how He is going to work everything out for good, how He is going to bring more glory to His name this way than He would have by healing Baby Samuel here on earth.

Right now I am listening to David Crowder sing, "Oh how He loves us...If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss. My heart turns violently inside my chest...Oh how He loves us."

In the last hour, I have heard:

Brit Nicole, "All this time from the first tear cry to today's sunrise and every single moment between, You were there. You were always there. It was You, and I You've been walking with me all this time."

Lincoln Brewster, "You are the everlasting God, the everlasting God. You do not faint. You won't grow weary. You're the defender of the weak. You comfort those in need. You lift us up on wings like eagles. Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." Brian and Grace kind of adopted this as their theme song these past weeks as they waited for God to act, and heal their baby boy.

Building 429, "So when the walls come falling down on me, and when I'm lost in the current of the raging sea, I have this blessed assurance holding me: All I know is I'm not home yet. This is not where I belong. Take this world and give me Jesus."

Matt Maher remdinded me Your Grace Is Enough.

Aaron Shust encouraged me with My Hope Is in You.

Jeremy Camp helped me look ahead with There Will Be a Day. Right now I am ready more than ever for that day when we are all in Jesus' presence, and there is no more suffering, pain, or loss. No more tears. No more sadness. Just joy and peace. Just Jesus!

I had to stop writing for a bit, so we could go to Carson's birthday party. It was so much fun to see him again and help him celebrate his 4th birthday. Coralyn had a blast driving power wheel of all sorts, swinging, playing in the houses, sliding, and even going on the "rollercoaster" in the backyard! Of course, she had a huge piece of cake, with a generous helping of frosting, not to mention a scoop of ice cream! (Pictures to come.) We are home now, and I am hoping she crashes from her sugar high soon! Though I know the minute -- no, second -- she wakes up she is going to ask for the candy she got from the pinata!

After we got the girls settled in their beds, I turned the radio back on, and it was as if the music picked up right where we had left off a few hours before. All the songs have been speaking to my wounded heart, reassuring me of God's goodness and faithfulness, of His never-ending, unfailing love. Somehow, I can sing along and honestly praise God. There's really nothing better to do. I need Him now more than ever; we all do.

Right now Natalie Grant is singing Held, which she wrote after her friend lost her infant. She says, "This is what it means to be held. How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life. And you survive. This is what it is to be loved and know that the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held."

Mercy Me just finished The Hurt and the Healer. The words of this song are so extremely fitting; I have to include all the lyrics right here:

Why?

The question that is never far away

But healing doesn't come from the explained

Jesus, please don't let this go in vain

You're all I have, all that remains

So here I am, what's left of me

When glory meets my suffering

I'm alive

Even though a part of me has died

You take my heart and breathe it back to life

I fall into your arms open wide

When the hurt and the healer collide

Breathe

Sometimes I feel it's all that I can do

Pain so deep that I can hardly move

Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You

Lord, take hold and pull me through

So here I am, what's left of me

When glory meets my suffering

It's the moment when humanity

Is overcome by majesty

When grace is ushered in for good

And all our scars are understood

When mercy takes its rightful place

And all these questions fade away

When out of weakness we must bow

And hear you say "It's over now"

Jesus, come and break my fear

Wake my heart and take my tears

Find your glory even here

When the hurt and the healer collide

Well, that's about sums it up. The songs keep coming, and I can't keep up.

I want to end with one other thought that has been playing over and over in my head all day. Well, ever since Samuel was born really.

When I was in college my good friend Sam Hanson went through a hard time. His mom got cancer. We prayed earnestly for her to be healed. And she was! For awhile. Then the cancer came back. Eventually, Sam's mom went to be with Jesus. At the funeral, Sam's older sister Sarah said something that impacted me greatly, and I have never forgotten her words, nor her perspective during such a difficult period in her life. It's been a few years, so I realize this isn't verbatim, but still the impact is there.

Sarah told us, "I feel blessed and honored that God would count us worthy to go through this, that He thinks we can handle this and bring glory to Him through all this."

Last week, on Friday at our church's Worship Night, I had the opportunity to talk with Grace. I was hoping to encourage her, or at least let her know that I was praying for her, that thousands of people were praying for her and Samuel. But it was Grace who blessed me! Her words, and outlook on her situation, were so similar to Sarah Hanson's. Grace shared with me how she was praising God and thanking Him for using Samuel's story to bring so many people back to Himself, to "wake up" souls that had been asleep spiritually. Here Grace is, not knowing if her baby boy is going to live or die, and she is focused on the good work that God is doing, around the world, through her son. She could have thrown a pity party for herself, but instead she was there at church singing her heart out to Jesus, worshipping Him with her entire being.

May I do the same!

I am writing this with great sadness and sorrow. I don't really know where to begin or what to say once I do. So, I guess I will just get right to the point.

Baby Samuel is at home with Jesus this morning.

Yesterday, Brian and Grace made the decision to take Samuel off all machines, leaving their son completely in the hands of the Lord. They felt like this is what God would have them do at this time, giving their precious baby boy back to Him, however that would play out.

We all prayed for a miracle. We have all been praying for the past 3 and half weeks for God to heal Baby Samuel. We fasted. We cried out to God. We got on our knees and pleaded with God on behalf of this baby boy and his family.

I know God heard our prayers, but why He didn't answer them the way we wanted, I have absolutely no clue. In fact, I am struggling with anger and frustration, confusion and doubt. I have never prayed so hard, with so much faith, for anything ever before. I truly believed God was going to come through and heal Baby Samuel.

I'm not saying that God let us down. I am admitting, though, that I don't understand (or like) His plans and purposes right now. In my little human mind I think that healing Baby Samuel would certainly have brought massive amounts of glory to God's name. He would have shown His power, proving He can do the humanly/medically impossible. All of us who have been praying so fervently for God to act would have burst out in praise, thanking God for His miraclous and wondrous work! Many others, especially skeptics, would have to give credit to God alone and confess that He indeed is Lord.

So, I am left wondering why God sees things differently. He is all about bringing glory to His name, showing His power, drawing people to Him, etc. He never goes against His character, which is one of love and goodness, faithfulness and mercy, justice and truth. Therefore, I must believe, whether I like it or not, that God's plans are better than mine, that His ways are perfect, that He has a reason for acting in this way. What's more, I can't have my praise of God depend on Him doing what I wanted, when I wanted. That would be conditional worship, and not true worship at all.

I can't help but think of the verse/song, "The Lord gives and takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Everything within me wants to scream and shout at God. I want to throw some stuff at Him too, heavy stuff like rocks and fifty pound dumb bells. I want to be mad, furious really, at God for not healing this precious baby boy, for allowing his family to experience such sadness and grief as they mourn the loss of their infant son.

BUT, that is exactly what Satan wants. Just like in the case of Job, the devil wants our love of God and obedience to Him to depend on what He does for us, on how much He blesses us. The second something goes wrong or the cost of discipleship gets a little too steep, Satan wants us to throw in the towel.

And so, that is what I will NOT be doing. Instead, I am going to hit Satan in the face with my white towel. I am going to smack him so hard that it stings and leaves a mark. I may not understand or like the fact that God chose to take Baby Samuel home today, but I will praise Jesus all the same. I will trust that His plans are better, by far, than mine. I will wait with expectation to see how God uses all this to bring massive amounts of glory to His name, that is what I prayed so hard for after all.

I don't really know too much else. I don't have any more details. I do want to thank all of you who have prayed so faithfully and earnestly for Baby Samuel and his family. Many of you have never met Brian and Grace, or their kids, but you prayed for them all the same. I know your prayers were a huge encouragement to the Allen family the past 3 and a half weeks. Your faith and love and support were a source of strength and peace to them. I know they would give you each a big hug if they could.

I also know that Grace, and her whole family, will be praising God today, and every day. They are just that amazing, and close to their Savior. Please join them, and of course continue to pray for them. I can't imagine being in their position (nor do I ever want to), but I am sure they would appreciate pray for peace, strength, hope, and even joy. Satan may have thought he won this battle, but oh how wrong he is! May he realize he has messed with the wrong people and stirred within us a spark that will set our faith ablaze and serve to draw us all the closer to our Jesus as we go to Him now for the comfort that only He can give.