Last night, though, was different. For starters, my husband and I got to go on a rare date. Dinner AND a movie! We entered the movie theater together for the first time in a good 4 years, the last time I can remember being when our oldest daughter was a baby and for some ridiculous reason we thought she would stay asleep during the show. I ended up walking the corridors with a crying, fussy baby girl for a good hour and half of the two hour film. Not exactly what we had in mind. This time was much better!!! Amazing how you can actually sit and watch and listen to a movie without getting up, getting squished, or getting smothered when children aren't in the picture!
We saw Angelina Jolie's new film Unbroken after seeing the previews and hearing such good reviews from friends. The show did not disappoint. Louie's story was a hard one to watch, but as I sat there and saw him overcome difficulty after difficulty after difficulty, I couldn't help but want to dig deep and fight hard and have the same unbreakable spirit in my own life. I couldn't help but believe I too could overcome trials and be victorious.
God is certainly at work in my heart. Speaking to me over and over and over again. Building up my faith, my trust, my confidence - not in myself, but rather in HIM. As I let His words sink into my soul, my desire to live all out for my Jesus is growing. My passion is mounting. I am beginning to understand the plans and purposes God has for me. I am willing to follow Him wherever He may lead, holding His strong right hand as He guides me every step of the way.
I know the road ahead is not easy or safe.
I also know it's the BEST place to me, the only place I truly want to be.
As I embark on this adventure, I am scared.
I wonder if I am enough for the task ahead...
So this morning, as I waited behind the computer in the Children's Area at church to check in the kiddos as they came for class, I noticed the DVDs and teacher's guide for a Bible study I hadn't been able to attend due to scheduling conflicts. I picked up the book with ENOUGH on the spine, figuring the title seemed to ask the question on my mind. I scrolled through the pages in between welcoming families and printing off their children's name tags. With the morning snow and cold weather, not too many people headed my way, so I had more time than usual to read.
Again, God was at work.
He was speaking to me, reminding me this time through the story of Gideon that He uses the weak of this world to showcase HIS power. He was showin me once more that the outcome doesn't depend on my strength or any of my abilities for that matter. Rather, everything rests on Him and my TRUST in Him, my willingness to obey, to follow, even when His plans seem ludricious. Like they did when He told Gideon to fight the enemy army of 30,000 soldiers with a mere 300 men of his own. Like they did when He explained to Gideon he would fight the battle with lamps and clay pots. Absurd. Insane. And yet, exactly how God likes to work. So all the glory goes to HIS name and HIM alone!
I finished the section of the book and glanced at the clock. 10:05. The service was starting, so I grabbed my purse and headed for the sanctuary. We started with communion as a church family, and as I ate my cracker and grape, I couldn't shake the words I had written down late last night (early this morning really)...
We surrender to a God who surrendered everything for us.
Yes, my God gave up His very Son, His ONLY Son.
To die, on my behalf.
Jesus WILLINGLY took my place on the cross.
He was laid in the grave so that I never have to die - not spiritually at least.
His sacrifice makes it possible for me to have a relationship with God, to dwell in His very presence, and to live with Him for all eternity.
As we moved into the next part of the service, the title page for the sermon popped up on the screen.
Those 3 words: Courage, Passion, Clarity have been on my heart and mind for the past several weeks as God has been working to prepare me for this new year we have just begun. He is calling me to live boldly, to walk by faith not by sight, to trust Him, to surrender all to Him, to follow HARD after Him, to live with passion, courageously seeking Him with every fiber of my being and making it my purpose to KNOW HIM AND MAKE HIM KNOWN.
We studied verses on the screen and responded to questions like "What are your 3 greatest fears keeping you from living out the plans and dreams God has for you?"
Spot on to things God has been speaking to me, but that's for another blog post.
We watched a video clip from the movie Parenthood, where actor Steve Martin's grandmother teaches me a life lesson via a story about riding a rollercoaster instead of a merry-go-round.
Once more, hit the nail on the head with what God has been pounding into my heart, but again that's for a future blog post.
Finally, we came to our main passage - the story of GIDEON!!!
Stop right there.
GIDEON.
Remember, I just read about him while I waiting to check in kiddos.
What are the chances that a Bible study book would be sitting by the children's area check in computers, that I would have time to look at it and pick it up and read it, AND that our pastor would talk about the same thing in the very book I just scrolled through minutes before entering the service?
That is NOT chance.
That is NOT coincidence.
That is GOD!!!!
All God!
The story of Gideon is one for us today.
For you.
For me.
For anyone facing trials.
For anyone overcome with fear.
For anyone wondering if they are enough.
As Gideon timidly hides in the winepress to grind some wheat, an angel comes to him, "Arise mighty warrior!" Not only is Gideon taken aback at this surprise visitor, but the angel's words are not what he would expect to hear either. Gideon asks if he talking to the right person, for he is from a weak tribe and is the "runt of the liter" in his family. Surely the angel is mistaken. Surely he meant to call on someone else. Surely he is not serious abou Gideon being a MIGHTY WARRIOR.
But God is serious.
He sees in Gideon what no man could.
He looks past the outer surface to the very heart.
A heart that would courageously knock down his own father's idols.
A heart that would boldly attack the Philistine army with only 300 men.
A hear that would obey, even when the commands didn't make any sense humanly speaking.
God sees the same thing in you.
In me.
In anyone willing to take Him at His word, to believe what He says is true, to trust that He will keep His promises.
As we begin this new year, what is God speaking to you?
What is He laying on your heart?
What is He calling you to do?
Who is He asking you to be?
Are you willing?
Are you ready to fulfill the amazing plans and purposes God has for you, that He wrote out before He ever laid the foundations of the earth or spoke the planets into existence?
Are you ready to arise and be the MIGHTY WARRIOR God has created you to be?
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