The movie Selma has received awards and much acclaim as it highlights the march to Montgomery and the eventual Voting Rights Act of 1965.
My husband teaches 3rd grade, and his class has been studying Martin Luther King, Jr. They have been reading books about the Civil War, discussing how freedom and equal rights did not immediately follow Abraham Lincoln's Emanicpation Proclamation, and realizing how we are still fighting today to make Martin Luther King, Jr.'s dream come true.
As I sat in church this morning, worshipping and listening to those around me sing, I was overcome with emotion. I'm not sure what lyrics triggered a gust of passion sweeping over me, but I had to sit down and grab a pen to jot down everything that was flooding my brain.
My pen couldn't move fast enough. Words kept coming. God was speaking. I was doing my best to listen. And once again I was overwhelmed with the unbelievable truth that God sees me, that He hears me, that He KNOWS me, that He LOVES me, that He has specific plans for me, that He wants to use me to bring massive amounts of glory to His name...
One of the songs must have spoken of "heart abandoned" because that's what I scribbled in the top right corner of my paper. Somehow that led me to think of Martin Luther King, Jr. Hence, I wrote, "I Have a Dream." And that opened the floodgates...
Before I share MY dream, take time to listen to the famous speech that truly has changed the world and will continue to do so until the end of time.
As I replayed his speech in my head, the portion about the dream for his children stood out. "I have a dream that my four little children will one day life in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
Yesterday, I was extremely thoughtful about what the dreams God is laying on my heart mean for my children, my 3 young girls. A war is raging within me as I try to wrestle out the timing and implications of my dreams. Am I supposed to pursue these dreams NOW or wait until my children are older? Am I supposed to follow through on these stirrings within me NOW or are they hints of something to come once my children are in school, or out of the house completely? Does my calling as a wife and mother mean I am to wait until my girls are grown to use the other gifts and abilities God has given me to serve and build up His Body? I don't have all the answers, nor will I ever. BUT, as I sat and worshipped this morning, my heart was bursting to overflowing and I simply couldn't contain what God was doing inside me. Like a pop bottle shaken up and then the lid twisted off, everything within me was spewing out with a vengeance.
Ironically enough, the message was titled, "Stirred Up."
Concidence? I think not.
I KNOW not.
God continues to blow my mind with the ways He is weaving together everything He is whispering to my heart in my alone times with Him, the sermons I am hearing at Women's Retreat and church, the books I am reading, Facebook posts I am engaging in, and conversations I am having with totally unconnected people all over the world.
The message could not be more clear:
"I made you. I created you with specific gifts and abilities. I want to use those talents and skills and interests to do amazing things for My glory. I want to work through you to change countless lives. I am calling you out to live by faith, to pursue Me with passion, to make Me known, to be intentional with your relationships, to value what matters most, to live in light of eternity, to give it your all and lay it all on the line, to hold nothing back, to inspire others to do the same. As you do, as you trust Me and surrender your life in My hands, I will do infinitely more than you could ever begin to imagine or dare to dream."
As I thought about Martin Luther King, Jr. speaking to those thousands upon thousands of people in the crowd that day, sharing his dream, I couldn't help but thank him for NOT waiting until his children were grown. Had he waited, how different would things be today? Had he not stood up to call out for change right then, for the sake of his children, how long would it have taken for someone else to rise up?
Was it risky for him to pursue his dream?
Most certainly.
Doing so cost him his life.
BUT, it also resulted in millions of lives being changed, not just in his own lifetime, but still today, and for many, many, many more generations to come.
THAT is the kind of legacy I want to have, to leave for my children.
Which means I can NOT wait for my girls to grow up before I begin to pursue the dreams God is stirring up within me right NOW.
Rather, as King shared in his speech, "It would be fatal...to overlook the URGENCY of the moment."
I don't know how it will all play out or when my dreams will come to fruition.
I don't know how to make sense of the passions and stirrings within my heart.
I simply know they are there.
NOW.
For a reason.
For "such a time as this."
Just as Esther had to step out in faith, so must I.
I follow in the steps of Joshua and Caleb, choosing to believe God is bigger than anything I may encounter and that He will hold true to His Word and stand by His promises to guide me, provide for me, and satisfy me with His presence.
I join Joseph in dreaming big and never giving up no matter how dire my circumstances, knowing that God has a plan and will work out all things for His glory.
I do my best to run with Paul, forgetting what lies behind and focusing all my energies on what is to come, striving with every fiber of my being to live a life worthy of my calling, until I cross the finish line and fall spent into the arms of Jesus to hear Him whisper in my ear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
For you see, I too have a dream.
As I scrawled on my paper this morning:
"NOT a dream house,
rather that more families have a place to call home...
water to drink
the opportunity to go to school, to receive a quality education, to experience the joy of learning, to use their knowledge and skills to make their community a better place, to change the world
NO human trafficking
Hope for every man, woman, and child
That they can lay down on a bed, head on a pillow and have sweet dreams at night
No nightmares
No fears or worries of what terrors might come the next day
No pangs of hunger
No empty bellies
No bruises or cuts or scrapes caused by abuse
No internal wounds invisible to the human eye but festering inside a broken heart
FREEDOM for all who live on this earth
I have a dream of helping others live out their dreams, fulfilling their divine, glorious destinies."
A mess of dreams really.
Tangled threads.
Oh, but God is the Master Weaver.
I may not be able to see how He is bringing everything together right now at this very moment, but I assure you He is creating the most beautiful of masterpieces. And when it is revealed, our minds will be blown. We will look back and amuse, "Oh, that's what He was doing," and remark, "Now I get it," and nod our heads, "Okay, I understand why that had to happen like that." The pieces will come together perfectly. The puzzle will be completed. In the meantime, we have to trust the process.
As my pastor reminded me yet again this morning, we must live with intention and purpose. We must keep our eyes and ears open. We must be mindful so that we can discover God's divine appointments. And we must certainly NOT hold back. Remember, we ARE God's workmanship - His masterpiece - and He has prepared good works for us to do. Indeed, He laid them all out before He even spoke the stars into existence. Now that I am here on earth, He has invited me to join in the story He is writing, to come along on the adventure He has prepared for me.
The invitation is NOW.
The journey has already begun.
The dreams are ready to be awakened and turned to reality.
Thus, as I scribbled out earlier today:
"This can't wait until my girls are in school, grown up.
Too many will perish before then.
NOW is the time..."
As I mentioned before, though, a war is raginng within me.
How do I pursue these passions God has given me without forgoing my high calling of wife and mother? Do the two have to negate each other? I wondered quietly, yet fervently, on my paper:
"Yet, I am called to my family first,
but I can't neglect my bigger family either - the Body of Christ"
This morning didn't answer all my questions, but I shared with my husband on the way home from church how strongly I feel about what God is doing in our hearts (for God is doing some shaking up of things in my husband's soul as well). We both agree:
"As a faimly we will dream TOGETHER
serve TOGETHER
How better to teach and train our daughters
What better way to invest in their lives than to invite them on this adventure with us"
After all, I tell them daily that God can use them NOW, they don't have to wait to grow up to do big things for God. I have made it a point to get down on their level, hands on their shoulders, looking them square in the eye and speaking this truth with passion and resolve, "God has a plan for you. He created you for a reason. Live out the dreams He puts in your heart. Follow hard after Him. Even when it's hard or scary, you do what's right. Stand up for Jesus. Be strong. Be bold. Have courage. God is with you every step of the way. He will never let you go. And as you live for Him, He will do remarkable things in and through you. So dream big, my precious child. Dream big."
What better way to solidify my words than to live them out for my girls to see.
I've been told children learn by watching, that they remember what we DO far better than what we say, no matter how eloquent our words or how many times we repeat them. Our children will be impacted much more by the way we LIVE day in and day out.
So, can I wait for my girls to grow up, to be in school, before I begin to pursue these passions He is stirring up inside of me right now? Should I put my dreams on hold so that I can focus on being a wife and mother?
NO!!!
I have come to realize these two are not in opposition to one another, but rather compliment each other. They go hand in hand. Indeed, they must.
The dreams I have are first and foremost for my own children.
Wouldn't I then want to invite them to dream with me?
That's what God, my heavenly Father has done, isn't it?
He has shared His passion with me and asked me to join Him on an incredible journey.
Shouldn't I then be grabbing my girls as fast as I can and carrying them with me as I follow hard, running full speed after my Jesus?!!!
Granted, my gait might look strange as I carry a baby and hold onto the toddler's hand and make sure the oldest is right by my side. I might go a bit more slowly and stop more often for potty breaks than if I were a single college girl or a mother with her children all grown. But that is okay. Indeed, it is the race I am called to run at this very moment. So run I will -- er, WE will. Together, as a family.
And we'll dream togther too.
Dreams that very well could take my husband and I to Ethiopia this summer.
Dreams that might then lead to adoption.
Dreams that could possibly result in a book sharing our story.
Dreams that people will see God at work in our lives and believe He can do the same in them.
Dreams that our brothers and sisters around the globe will step up and live by faith - bold, courageous, passionate faith that won't back down no matter what and won't rest until God's work has been completed.
Dreams that the lost will be found, that many will come to KNOW Jesus and experience the ultimate FREEDOM that He purchased for them through His death on the cross.
Dreams that all will be made right, that there will be no more pain or suffering, no more tears - just JOY and peace and hope and everything else good available to us because Jesus rose from the grave and has conquered sin and death so that we might live with Him forever.
As I said before, a mess of dreams.
Tangled threads.
Slowly but surely being woven together to create the most beautiful of masterpieces.
So, as I dream and my husband dreams and we invite our girls to dream with us, we stand before God, hearts abandoned to whatever He wants to do in and through us to accomplish His good and perfect plans.
In living out the dreams God is placing on our hearts, I know I might sleep less (as I type it's almost midnight). My days will be filled with changing diapers and cleaning up messes and preparing meals and folding laundry. I will clean toilets and read books and play princess and put away groceries and kiss owies by day, then blog and write and send messages and make connections with people who will be able to help us fulfill our dreams and live out our passions and carry out the good works God has created us to do by night.
But, I will gladly give up sleep now so others can sleep peacefully, soundly, FREE, filled with hope and joy.
Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke of freedom in his speech.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
I too dream of freedom, freedom to live the abundant life God desires for us and sent His Son to purchase for us, freedom to experience His power at work in my life and the lives of all those around me, freedom to be all that I was created to be, freedom to help others become who they are called to be.
If I am to see my dreams come true, I can't lose sight of the BIG picture.
I must choose to live for eternity, not for today.
And thus, I must live all out today, and EVERY day, to make sure others have an eternity.
I have a dream.
One that can NOT wait.
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