As we take in this special day and watch the joy and excitement, I can't help but struggle with a heavy heart. Why am I so bothered?
Maybe it's the fact that I am 39 weeks pregnant and a hormonal mess.
Maybe it's because I am a mom of 3 young girls and KNOW that I will be dealing with so many issues related to body image and appearance and weight and buying clothes and fitting in and feeling beautiful and wanting to be accepted/popular.
Maybe it's my own personal history with these HARD battles.
Whatever the case, my heart is troubled.
Yesterday, I was on one of the MOM pages I am part of on Facebook. A friend shared how she is dealing with her opinion of herself, her body post-baby. She is NOT alone. Oh no, so many of us feel the exact same way, or at least share very similar frustrations. Having a baby is a BEAUTIFUL thing. Miraculous. I LOVE being a mom. I am proud of that accomplishment and what my body has done. That, however, does NOT change the reality that having a baby totally and completely changed my body - FOREVER.
Yes, I lost my baby weight after #3 was born. Then proceeded to get pregnant yet again with #4, who is due any day now.
And I know that I can do it again, BUT it will take time. LOTS of time. I am NOT one of those "lucky" women who can breastfeed and watch the baby weight fall off and wear my skinny jeans 2 weeks post-partum.
Health is a passion of mine. I watch what I eat very closely. I work out, HARD on a regular basis (like 5 times a week). I do all the "right things," but it is still VERY hard for me to lose weight, to get the tone I want (because I'm not about being skinny, but rather healthy and STRONG).
So, when I see another mama battling LIES when she looks in the mirror, I am quick to want to rush to her side, to hug her, to speak TRUTH to her.
And I can tell her lots of nice things:
*You're beautiful just the way you are.
*Your body is strong and reflects how you brought life into this world.
*Give yourself grace, and time.
*Your kids don't care what size jeans you wear. They love you for the MOM you are.
*Beauty is only skin deep. Your heart is what really matters. And you have a gorgeous heart.
*Don't be so hard on yourself.
*Be proud of your tiger stripes.
*Loose skin isn't the end of the world. Saggy skin doesn't define you.
*No one is perfect. Don't judge youself by what those pictures you see in the magazines. That's a ridiculous expectation. No one can do that.
*Focus on the positive and find things you do like about yourself.
I could go on and on.
And get madder every second.
We can't just go on.
We can't just deal with it.
This is a REAL battle.
And it's HARD.
And so many of us fight it DAILY.
Multiple times a day - every time you walk by a mirror, every time you see another woman and compare yourself to her, every time you get dressed or undressed, every time you see a bilboard, every time you watch a TV comerical, every time you wait in line at the grocery store and have to stare at the magazine beauties, every time you think about your body before kids....
Yeah, just move on.
Get over it.
Deal with it.
NO.
No, no, no.
Instead, let's be REAL.
Let's be HONEST.
Let's FACE the issue head on and deal with it that way.
Yes, our bodies are changed after having babies.
Some of us more than others.
Be it our hips, thighs, butt, stretch marks, loose skin, c-section scars, saggy boobs once we're done nursing, post-partum hair loss, skin/acne issues because of the change in hormones, or whatever else we may encounter in our jouney of motherhood.
Becoming a mom changes us in so many ways.
The physical aspect is just ONE.
But it truly does affect SO MUCH more.
Our emotions.
Our heart.
Our mind.
The way we parent.
The way we interact with our spouse or significant other.
The way we act around friends.
The way we act around strangers.
The way we think.
The way we LIVE.
When I was about 30 pounds (or more) overweight, I was not only fighting a bulging waistline, but a true sinking feeling of depression. I hated getting dressed each morning. I hated going out in public. I hated being around people. I was so focused on how I looked, what people were thinking of me, how disappointed I was in myself, how I began to believe that if I couldn't take charge of my health how could I be good at anything. All I wanted to do was stay inside and hide. Seclude myself. Be invisible.
Yeah, tell me again that didn't affect the ministry I was supposed to be doing.
Hence, when I see anyone struggling and trying to "deal with it" and "just move on" or "get over it," I have to stand up and speak my heart.
Seriously, if you are NOT happy about your body, then let's work together to get you where you DO want to be. Let's be realistic and understand it's going to take time and be a process. But let's also be positive and KNOW that change can happen.
You CAN lose weight. One pound at a time. BUT do remember the scale is NOT the whole story. NOT at all. Feeling good in your skin, and clothes, matters so much more!
You CAN make healthy choices. It's okay to start small. Baby steps. But you HAVE to take that first step. Thinking the journey is too long and hard to even start gets you nowhere. BUT take that first step and progress CAN be made.
You CAN repair that loose, saggy skin in a SAFE, natural, HEALTHY way (thanks, It Works, once more for the wrap and other skin care products!).
You CAN be confident.
You CAN appreciate your new body.
You CAN be strong.
You CAN take time to take care of yourself and invest in yourself. In deed, you NEED to do this so you can pour youself into those you love and give them your best. You are NOT being selfish to take time to work out, to buy healthy food that may cost a little more, to spend some money on wraps or supplements to help you reach your goals. As you become the person physically you want to be, I promise your mind and heart and perspective on life and attitude and EVERYTHING will change too. You will only be BETTER because of it. You will INSPIRE OTHERS to set goals, to dream big, to believe in themselves. You will change the world. Really, you will!
You CAN be proud of your accomplishments.
How much better does THAT sound then, "Deal with it."
Or "get over it."
Or the idea that it's not that big of a deal and we should just move on and feel so amazing about our stretch marks becasue they mean we brought a beautiful child into this world.
I would rather help a mama pour into herself and her health so she can TRULY feel confident when she looks in the mirror. And that woman she sees is a stronger woman in SO many ways as a result. That woman has shown her family and friends what truly living means and looks like day in and day out - amongst the diapers and piles of laundry and toys cluttering the house.
That woman is my hero.
I am not that woman yet.
But I am working on it.
Every day.
And as I do, I invite ANY and EVERY mama to join me on this journey.
May we travel this HARD path together.
Encouraging and supporting each other every step of the way.
Helping each other up when we stumble or fall.
Celebrating with each other as we reach various milestones.
No judging.
Just loving.
And rallying around each other.
Seems like a much better way to "deal with it."
But maybe that's just my raging hormones talking...
No comments:
Post a Comment