I actually wrote this last week, but am just now getting around to posting it! Anyway...
What I wouldn’t do for some peace and quiet?
A pretty common question/request/desperate plea for most moms on most days, and dads too for that matter. More than that lately, I have been praying and hoping for Kellah to simply sleep in her crib. She falls asleep in my arms. I oh so smoothly transition her to her crib, trying my best to lay her down in the exact position she was in on my chest. She seems content, so I walk away, excited to have some “me” time or more importantly time to get some things done around the house. Two seconds later, I hear Kellah’s cries. Oh, baby girl…
Perhaps God is using my precious little one to teach me something. A lesson I should have learned already, one God is probably tired of teaching by now. He’s tried to show me the same thing in numerous ways, but I doubt His has run out of ideas yet. Like any good teacher, He will keep on teaching me until I learn...re-explaining the concept in new or different words, using various object lessons, giving me multiple opportunities to practice what He has taught me, etc.
And so here I am again…
I’ve mentioned before how I am an on-the-go person. I feel like I always need to be DOing something. If I have a spare moment, I immediately try to figure out what I can do with that time, what I can get DONE. I feel guilty if I just sit or rest or relax. If I’m not DOing something, then I am wasting time or being lazy or even selfish.
God is helping me to see how backwards this way of thinking is, how contrary it is to Kingdom living. Having a baby has helped slow me down, especially since Kellah likes to be held (and sleeps so much better when she is!). However, I have gotten pretty good at DOing things while holding Kellah. I have even figured out how to nurse her and do housework at the same time. I guess I still have a long ways to go in sitting down and taking the time to stop going non-stop so that I can actually enjoy life.
Not only do I need to do better at appreciating the opportunity to slow down, but I need to realize it is a gift from God. It’s as if God is reminding me yet again that I can use those moments to be still and rest in His presence, to enjoy the peace and quiet (as quiet as a house can be with an active 2 year old).
Once again He has used that other Sarah Young to teach me this lesson. Today’s devotion was called, “Sit with Me” and goes like this:
Take a moment and JUST SIT QUIETLY with Me. Let My love surround you and fill you. Feel the light of My presence, and enjoy My peace. I am using these quiet moments to do much more than you can imagine. Give Me this gift of your time, and then watch how I bless you and those you love.
Your friendship with Me is changing you from the inside out. I am shaping you into the person I want you to be. Don’t fight the changes, or try to speed them up. Let Me set the pace as I create a better you. Hold My hand and walk with Me – step by step.
There it is again. That phrase, “step by step.” Don’t lag behind. Though I tend to struggle with the other end of the spectrum: Don’t race ahead. Walk with God, side by side, holding His hand, letting Him be in charge, trusting Him to lead you the right way at the right time. Take one step at a time. Because more often than not that is all God shows you anyway.
And apparently, God thinks it is more than okay to take rest breaks along the way. In fact, He seems to insist they are quite good and even beneficial. He invites me to sit, with Him, to soak up the fact that I am in the very presence of God Almighty, the King of Glory, the Creator of the Universe, my Savior, my Friend. In those moments, those times of peace and quiet, God wants me to simply BE, to enjoy Him fully.
Far, far too often, though, I am fidgety and squirmy. I can’t sit still. Hmmm, sounds like Coralyn. Maybe God is using her to teach me this lesson as well. I do tend to get so frustrated with her when she can’t seem to sit still for more than .2 seconds. She always has to be on the move, to be DOing something. She can’t even go potty without grabbing a book or random toy along the way to the bathroom so that she can read or play while she is doing her business. Oh my goodness, I am more like my 2 year-old daughter than I would like to think! Sorry, God.
I do think I am making progress. Slowly. Oh so slowly. Thank goodness God is so extremely patient and gracious. Hopefully this morning was a sign that I am
changing into that person God is trying to shape me into. It’s Wednesday, so I really wanted to go to Chick-fil-A for Kids’ Korner. We didn’t make it last week because Coralyn didn’t wake up until 8:45, just 15 minutes before Kids’ Korner starts. I wasn’t going to rush around and try to get her fed, dressed, and out the door just to hang out at Chick-fil-A for an hour. I knew that hurrying would only result in chaos and frustration on my part. So, we stayed at home and enjoyed a peaceful morning reading books, coloring, stacking blocks, reading books, singing songs, reading books, painting, reading books, doing puzzles, reading books…well, you get the idea. Yesterday, Coralyn didn’t wake up until 9:45, so I wasn’t too hopefully about her getting up and around in time for Kids’ Korner this morning. And I am certainly not complaining about her sleeping in, as I have been enjoying the peace and quiet in the mornings. BUT, I was kind of looking forward to getting out of the house and enjoying some adult company while Coralyn played with other kiddos (also good for her!). Surprisingly, Coralyn woke up at 8:30, giving us just enough time to eat breakfast, get dressed, and loaded up in the car. Granted, we wouldn’t be right on time, but I was okay with that (and that is a lot for me as I like to be 5-10 minutes early for everything!). Today, Kellah is the one who “foiled” my plans. She went down for a nap around 8:20 and was still sleeping, in her crib, at 9. I wasn’t going to wake her up just to go to Chick-fil-A, seeing as how I have been praying and hoping and trying to get her to take her naps in her bed all week long. I decided we could just go later and play for a while. We didn’t have to be there for Kids’ Korner.
We ended up being able to go to Chick-fil-A around 10. Miss Julie greeted us at the door, disappointed we hadn’t been there for the story time, but glad to see us too. We chatted for a bit and then headed to the play place. I was pleasantly surprised to see my friend Heather with her two boys Bennett and Wyatt. While the kiddos played, we got to chat and catch up a bit, which was really nice. Granted, we had some hiccups to deal with – Wyatt pooping and his diaper exploding everywhere, then spitting up all over the place immediately after Heather got him into a new outfit. Oh the joys of motherhood!
Kellah soon let me know that she was getting ready for another nap and didn’t want to sleep at the play place in Chick-fil-A. We got our stuff ready and headed to Target for a quick errand (hoping she would fall asleep in the car on the way). My plan didn’t work, however, so I had a screaming infant on my hands while I tried to pick out a pair of sunglasses since my old pair had broken (still not sure if they got some help from
Coralyn with that). So I made my selection as quickly as possible and drove home, saying, “Shhhhh. Kellah, it’s okay. Kellah, just go to sleep. Shhhh.” And so on. She wouldn’t give in though. Not until we got home and I fed her a little snack. Perhaps, God was once again reminding me to slow down, not to try to squeeze so much in to the day.
Some day I will learn…some day! Hopefully sooner rather than later. To that end, I am going to end this blog and just sit quietly and enjoy the peace and quiet while both girlies are taking a nap, at the same time!