Represent!

This morning I was feeling really good about myself.
I got up early.
I worked out, hard.
I journaled, with pen and paper, for the first time in a long time.
I was about ready to pat myself on the back, but then I opened my Bible and picked up in Colossians where I had left off yesterday.

Let the message about Christ, in all it richness, fill your lives.  

Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives.  

Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.  

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, 

giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

This is a pretty familiar passage to me, but this morning it hit me like a rock.  It put me in my place, if I am being honest.  I got knocked off the high horse I was climbing up on just minutes earlier.

You see, I have NOT been a very good representative of the Lord Jesus lately.  Not in ALL I do and say.  Instead, I have been an easily flustered, easily angered, quick to raise her voice mother.  I have spoken to my children harshly.  I have NOT been patient, or compassionate.

Yesterday, when my 4 year old whined one too many times, I didn't take the time to ask her what the problem was or how I could help her.  I told her, "STOP IT!"

And when my 2 year  old started crying, I was more annoyed than anything.  I didn't check to see if she was hurt or how I could soothe her.  I rolled my eyes and demanded that she too, "STOP IT!"

When my 6 year old got home from school, and I was busy making supper before we needed to rush out the door - to church of all places, I didn't sit down to listen to her tell me about her day.  Nope, and when the girls were not responding to my requests to clean up before eating, my stress came out in my words.  Granted, they didn't listen to me the first 5 times I asked them to put the crayons and toys away, but I could have done a better job of getting their attention.  I should have KINDLY asked them to come over to where I was, GENTLY reminded them that I needed their help, and CALMLY sent them on their way while I finished getting our food ready.  Instead, I was stern.  Mean, if you ask my 6 year old.  She even asked me why I was yelling at them.  I didn't feel like I was yelling.  I wanted to tell her, "Trust me, I CAN yell if you want me to. THAT was NOT yelling."  Instead, her words pierced my heart.  Humbled, I answered, "I am sorry.  I shouldn't have talked like that.  I will try to do better next time.  You girls work on listening the first time, and I will work on saying things nicer."

As I sat there and read Paul's instructions to do EVERYTHING as a representative of Jesus, I almost started crying.  A representative doesn't get a day off, or even a lunch break.  A representative ALWAYS represents their country, store, namebrand, etc.  Hence, their title.  At ALL times a representative is influencing the reputation of whatever or whomever they represent.  They can enhance or harm that reputation.  I had to admit I was probably doing more harm than good to Jesus' reputation.  If someone saw or heard me with my girls, they might not want anything to do with Jesus.  NOT what I want at all!

So, I took a good look at how I could do my "job" of representing Jesus better.  Paul gives us the two-fold process right there - "let the message about Christ, in all its richness, FILL your lives..."  I need to be in the Word, letting it DWELL in me, taking up root in my heart and mind.  I can't be reading the Bible all day long, but I CAN be meditating on what I read that morning.  I CAN listen to music that will keep my heart soft.  I CAN pray without ceasing.

The second part stems directly from doing all those things connected to God's Word filling my life.  "Give thanks..."  As I speak God's Word and lisetn to God's Word and pray God's Word and sing God's Word, I can't help but give thanks.  That thankful heart will flow into all I do and say.  And THAT will definitely help me become a much better representative of Jesus.

My prayer is that at ANY time someone can look at me and see Jesus.
Even when no one IS looking, I need to represent Jesus.
And as my daughter reminded me yesterday, even behind the closed door of our house, I AM being watched.  4 little girls are watching my every move.  I certainly want to represent Jesus well so they know who He is, what His heart is like, how much He loves them.

At Ponca Bible Camp, when we want the campers' attention, my husband and I will shout out, "Represent!"  The campers take that as their cue to stop and listen.  To let us know they are ready, they respond, "Jesus!"  This morning, it was as if God had needed MY attention and through Scripture yelled out to me, "Represent!!!!"  With a repentant heart and thankful I serve a God of second chances, I answered back, "JESUS!"  And I pray I do just that today and represent Him well, in ALL I do and say...