By the Book

I love to read, but don't always have much time to sit down and read a book. I'm "lucky" if I can sit down and read my Bible for a few minutes before Coralyn wakes up each morning. Lately, though, with all these snow days and less daycare kiddos to try to coordinate nap schedules, I have been able to read my Bible, along with several other books. And the really cool thing is that God has used these various books and their authors to speak to me right where I am at in life.

Of course He has used His the Bible to teach me, encourage me, and challenge me. I expect that. It is His Word after all. But when the other books reiterate what God has been telling me in the Bible, I know I had better pay attention. I know God means business and that what He has to say must be important.

The thing I appreciate most, though, is that God doesn't seem to be lecturing me, but rather whispering in my ear and assuring me everything is going to be okay. Instead of feeling like I am a little child being scolded, I imagine myself sitting down and sharing a cup of coffee with my Best Friend or curling up in my Daddy's lap while He wraps His strong arms around me. I also picture myself on a long, difficult hike with an experienced Guide who keeps on telling me, "You can do it. I'm right here with you." When I listen to His voice I don't think so much about my hurting feet or my aching lungs; I can look around and enjoy the beauty surrounding me, not to mention the company of my Guide, who just happens to be my Maker and the Creator of the entire universe.

I could keep my conversations with God a secret, but yesterday I read in Psalm 34 (verse 3), "Come, let us tell of the Lord's greatness; let us exalt His name together." So I figure by sharing what God has been teaching me, you will see how awesome He is, how faithful and good He is, and how much He loves us.

Recently I finished a devotional book with each day's entry being a prayer of praise to God. Rather than put it away, I decided to read through it again. So this morning I am back to Day 1.

My heart rejoices in You, Lord, for You are my strong shelter in times of trouble and danger and stress... Perfect. I need a strong shelter right about now. I am feeling a little stressed.

my hiding place to whom I may continually resort... Glad to know I can keep coming back to God, time and time again.

my Father who lovingly provides for me... Exactly what I need to remember: God has always provided for me and will continue to do so, forever. He knows my needs and will meet them; He has always taken care of me and isn't going to stop now.

my Shepherd who guides and protects me... Nice, because I could sure use some direction and guidance right about now.

my Champion who upholds my cause as His child and defends my highest interests...my Bridegroom who delights in me...my God who is mighty to save, who rests in His love for me and rejoices over me with singing, with shouts of joy. You are my inheritance, my share in life, the One who satisfies my longing and fills my hungry soul with goodness. What a timely reminder that only God can fill that empty feeling I have, that only He can truly satisfy me.

I praise You for Your love and Your wisdom. You are too wise to ever make a mistake, too loving to ever do anything unkind. Yes, that's right. That means that our miscarriage wasn't mistake. Even more, it wasn't unkind. Somehow, it the best thing for us. Somehow... It also means that 3 of my daycare kiddos leaving at the same time isn't a mistake, something that slipped by God's radar on accident. Somehow it is the best thing for us. Somehow...

You act on my behalf, accomplishing what concerns me and fulfills Your purpose for me as I call on You. Oh, that's right. It's not about my plans; it's about God's purposes, which are always way better than my wildest dreams anyway. After all, He is the One who can do immeasurably beyond all we ask or imagine!

Thank You that You love me deeply and tenderly. You are compassionate and gracious, full of lovingkindness, ready to forgive, patiently considerate, and generous beyond imagining. You desire my love and rejoice to do good things for me. Wow, God likes to do nice things for me. It's like He wants me to be at peace, to be filled with joy.

You delight to give me the desires of my heart as I delight myself in You. Not only does God want to do good things for me, but He wants to bring my dreams to fruition. He wants to answer my prayers. The thing I have to keep in mind is that He does that as my plans and hopes and desires line up with His perfect will for my life.

How precious is Your love to me, O God! More than ever before, I sense God's presence. I know that I am in His company, and am at peace because of that. No matter what happens, I feel steady on my Rock, safe in my Fortress. Never before has my relationship with God meant so much, been so precious to me.

I sing for joy as I take refuge in the shadow of Your wings! There's no place I would rather be.

Pretty cool, huh? Coincidence, I think not! God is so good. He knows exactly where I am at; He knows my thoughts, my emotions. He meets me right there. He doesn't pass on by, but joins me on my journey. Plus, He offers to carry all my bags for me! In exchange for all my baggage, He gives me comfort, hope, peace, joy. Quite the trade. If you ask me, I definitely got the better end of the deal!

And it gets even better. I am also reading Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. Jeanne Hewitt lent me the book because she thought I would be able to relate to Shauna, who wrote this book after having a miscarriage of her own. Boy was Jeanne right! In the opening pages Shauna writes:

Bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet, and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us earn the lines on our faces and the calluses on our hands. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. Bittersweet is courageous, gutsy, earthy.

This collection is an ode to all things bittersweet, to life at the edges, a love letter to what change can do in us. This is what I've come to believe about change: it's good, in the way that childbirth is good, and heartbreak is good, and failure is good. By that I mean that it's incredibly painful, exponentially more so if you fight it, and also that it has the potential to open you open up, to open life up, to deliver you right into the palm of God's hand, which is where you wanted to be all along, except that you were too busy pushing and pulling your life into exactly what you thought it should be.

What is she talking about? I mean, I am never trying to figure things out, get things lined up perfectly, know all the details, put all the pieces together, write things down on the calendar, or get my life just the way I think it should be. Oh wait, yes I am. All. The. Time.

Not only can I relate to Shauna there, but I was also challenged by what she said a few chapters later as she used the metaphor of learning to swim to describe how we respond to change:

If you dig in and fight the changes, they will smash you to bits. They'll hold you under, drag you across the rough sand, scare and confuse you. But if you can find it within yourself, in the wildest of seasons, just for a moment, to trust in the goodness of God, who made it all and holds it all together, you'll find yourself drawn along to a whole new place, and there's nothing truly sweeter. Unclench your fists, unlock your knees and also the door to your heart, take a deep breath, and begin to swim. Begin to let the waves do their work in you.

I will end with a few verses from the Book itself. How fitting that David wrote in Psalm 34:4-6,

"I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me,

freeing me from all my fears.

Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy;

no shadow of shame will darken their faces.

I cried out to the Lord in my suffering, and He heard me.

He set me free from all my fears."