If you look again, from different angles, these obvious beginnings could be seen as endings. The birth of a baby means 9 months of pregnancy have finally come to an end, a good end, but still an end. While the sight of a new tulip makes us think that spring has begun, you could also say it means that winter is finally over. For kids (and teachers), the first day of school really means that summer has ended. Marriage is the beginning of "we" but an end to "I" and "me."
And those endings, if you think about them, they too can actually be beginnings. For the Christian, death here on earth is only the beginning of eternity in God's presence. The last leaf falling to the ground could mean fall is over or it could indicate that winter has begun. Waking from a dream gives you the chance to start a new day, one full of possibilities. Losing a job seems like you are at a dead end, but perhaps you are just at the beginning of some new opportunity God has planned for you.
Beginnings and endings, not so simple after all.
Right now I feel like I am at an ending. Last Friday was my last day with Jayden (one of my daycare kiddos) since his grandma is going to take care of him during the day. Today is his brother Aaron's last day because he is starting all-day preschool on Monday. Next Friday will be my last day with Harper since her aunt will be able to watch her now that her long-term sub job has ended. Lots of endings. I will still have Carson, so I am not at the end of doing daycare, but going from 5 kids to 2 is a big change. One that allows me a new beginning...
With 5 kids I was never able to take them to the library or park. Just getting all the carseats in place would have taken half the morning! ;) I tried going outside in our yard to play, but at the time 3 of the kiddos were under a year old and thought grass, sticks, and rocks were to be eaten. If I turned to take a leaf from Coralyn's mouth, Jayden saw that as an opportunity to see what the dirt tasted like, and Harper might begin to topple over as she was not yet sitting steady on her own. So we stayed inside. We found plenty to do. We are certainly at no shortage of toys, or imagination for that matter. But, I began to feel trapped inside my own house.
Now that I will only have Carson and Coralyn, I will be able to venture out again. I plan on signing them up for story time at the library. I can attend DC MOM (our church's ministry for moms) the first Friday of the month. I can take them to the park once the weather is nice. We could even go visit other stay-at-home moms and have play dates. If necessary, I can run to the grocery store and grab something I need to make supper. The possibilities are endless, or so it seems!
I am definitely sad to see 3 of my daycare kiddos say good-bye. I have watched these children learn how to crawl and then walk. They have learned letters, numbers, colors, shapes, and so much more. They can make animal noises and actually look through books. They can stack blocks and do actions to simple songs. They're not my kids, but they are a huge part of my life. I am going to miss them.
And I'm not going to lie. I am worried about how God is going to provide for us because these 3 kiddos take a big chunk of my paycheck with them. But, I think He is trying to help me see that this seemingly obvious ending is actually a wonderful beginning. Yes, I will be able to go to the library and the park, but I think God has something bigger in mind. I am not sure what that is. I have absolutely no idea, really. I am still waiting for Him to let me in on His secret plans.
The one thing I do know is this: God finishes what He starts and good always results (Philippians 1:6; Romans 8:28). He is in control, from beginning to end. Or, in my life right now, from end to beginning.
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