Hiding in the Shadows

I started this post a couple of weeks ago, but due to non-coordinating nap schedules, dirty diapers, dirty clothes, dirty dishes, and life in general as a wife and mom of two young children, I was unable to get back to the computer and finish writing about all that God has been showing me.  Well, I guess He had more to teach me anyway because there seems to be a recurring theme in the verses I have been reading in the book of Psalms lately.  So, here's what God has been reminding me of again and again and again:


Rewind to mid-June:

The past week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me.

Last Sunday, both Lawrence and I were profoundly impacted by our pastor's sermon.  We felt as if God was giving us the green light to pursue our vision to move to the Kellybrook area and serve as "missionaries" there -- intentionally reaching out to the children in the community, and as a result also ministering to their families. 

Monday, we set up an appointment with our friend who is a realtor.  We had that excited, nervous feeling where you're ansy with anticipation and scared to death at the same time.

Tuesday, our friend came over and discussed what our house is worth given the current market.  The news wasn't good.  I knew that our house had decreased in value due to the economy, but I wasn't prepared for the numbers to be quite so low.  Jay suggested some things we could do to make our house more appealing and get the most bang for our buck.  Of course those projects cost money.  Money we don't necessarily have right at this moment.  It was as if all the wind was knocked out of my sails.  Or like I got punched in the gut, by Mike Tyson.  I remember back when I was playing soccer as a kid and my coach was trying to show me that I didn't need to pass the ball so hard to my teammate when she was just 5 feet away.  Mr. Ochs kicked the ball to me, with a little more force than he intended, and I was caught off guard as the ball smacked me right in the stomach so hard that I couldn't breathe.  I felt like that, all over again.

Wednesday morning, I woke up with the weight of the world on my shoulders, or so it felt.  I went on a walk and just poured my heart out to God, laying my worries and concerns, my fears and doubts and anxious thoughts at His feet.  I asked Him to provide for us, not just in regards to the whole house situation, but more presently the bills and such that would have to be paid by the end of the month and in the months to come.  To keep myself occupied and from overthinking everything, I got to work on some projects that wouldn't cost any money -- for starters, I painted the stairwell with paint we already had.  Good-bye, frilly flowerly wallpaper!

Thursday, I continued working around the house on "small" projects that were "free."  I finished painting the stairwell and then got to work on painting the cabinets in our bathroom white, again using paint we already had from previous projects.  I felt really good about what I was able to accomplish, PLUS I had several people email me about childbirth classes and teacher set up daycare for her little boy this fall.  God had provided, just as I asked.  The weight began to lift.  Fittingly, the daily verse on the app on my smart phone was Matthew 11:28-30, "Come to Me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you.  Let Me teach you, because I am gentle and humble at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."

Friday was "a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day," as I blogged about already, so I won't bore you with the details again.  BUT, the day ended extremely well -- Lawrence and the girls went to a Father Daugther Dance and had tons of fun.  When I brought Kellah home, I checked my email and found out that I was one of the finalists in the Mary Kay Make-Over Contest. 

Saturday, we drove to Sedalia to spend Father's Day with Lawrence's family.  On the way, Lawrence and I were able to talk more about the vision God has given us, the obstacles that seem to be on the path, and the hope that we have as we trust God to work everything out, in His timing.  That day, we enjoyed time with Lawrence's parents and had our family pictures taken.  

Sunday, we celebrated Father's Day and then came back to Liberty for Lawrence's softball game.  During the game, Coralyn fell off the picnic table, doing a belly flop of sorts on the pavement.  She got a bloody nose that took about 5 paper towels and just as many wet wipes to clean up.  BUT, Lawrence's team won their game!  And, Coralyn actually did cry that much -- she certainly didn't seem to be scared by all the blood.  She was back to playing in the dirt in no time. 

Yesterday, I decided not to work furiously on any projects, but instead to just enjoy time with the girls.  We had a calm, relaxing day around the house.  I received two more emails from people interested in childbirth classes.  I got to blog about Kellah being 6 months old.  I ordered and picked up our family pictures from Walgreens, getting 25 pictures for free thanks to a coupon!  I put all the pictures into frames and they are now proudly displayed in our living room.  As I was admiring them, I couldn't help but feel so blessed.  God's goodness and faithfulness were overwhelming.  Again, the Scripture I read that morning was quite fitting.  Psalm 36:5-9, "Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.  Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, Your justice like the ocean depths.  You care for people and animals alike, O Lord.  How precious is Your unfailing love, O God!  All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of Your wings.  You feed them from the abundance of Your own house, letting them drink from Your river of delights.  For You are the fountain of life, the light by which we see."


Fast forward to this morning (July 4).  Actually, the past morning every day this week.

I'm just going to share the verses that God has been giving me to me and see if you can figure out the theme all by yourself!

Psalm 55:22, "Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you.  He will not permit the godly to slip and fall."


Psalm 56:11, 13, "I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?  So now I can walk in Your presence, O God, in Your life-giving light."

Psalm 57:1-3, "Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy!  I look to You for protection.  I will hide beneath the shadow of Your wings until this violent storm is past.  I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill His purpose for me.  He will send help from heaven to save me, rescuing me from those who are out to get me.  My God will send forth His unfailing love and faithfulness."


Psalm 57:7, 10-11, "My heart is confident in You, O God; no wonder I can sing Your praises!  For Your unfailing love is as high as the heavens.  Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.  Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens.  May Your glory shine over all the earth."

Psalm 59:9, "You are my strength; I wait for You to rescue me, for You, O God, are my place of safety."

Psalm 59:16-17, "But as for me, I will sing about Your power.  I will shout with joy each morning because of Your unfailing love.  For You have been my refuge, a place of safety in my distress.  O my Strength, to You I sing praises, for You, O God, are my refuge, the God who shows me unfailing love."


Psalm 60:12, "With God's help we will do mighty things..."

Psalm 61:1-4, "O God, listen to my cry!  Hear my prayer!  From the ends of the earth, I will cry to You for help, for my heart is overwhelmed.  Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for You are my refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.  Let me live forever in Your sanctuary, safe beneath the shelter of Your wings!"

Psalm 62:1-2, "I wait quietly before God, for my salvation comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken."

Psalm 62:5-8, "I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.  My salvation and my honor come from God alone.  He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.  O my people, trust in Him at all times.  Pour out your heart to Him, for God is our refuge."


Psalm 63:1-8, "O God, You are my God; I earnestly search for You.  My soul thirsts for You; my whole body longs for You in this parched and weary land where there is no water.  I have seen You in Your sanctuary and gazed upon Your power and glory.  Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself; how I praise You!  I will honor You as long as I live, lifting up my  hands to You in prayer.  You satisfy me more than the richest of foods.  I will praise You with songs of joy.  I lie awake thinking of You, meditating on You through the night.  I think how much You have helped me; I sing for joy in the shadow of Your protecting wings.  I follow close behind You; Your strong right hand holds me securely."


Psalm 64:9-10, "Then everyone will stand in awe, proclaiming the might acts of God, realizing all the amazing things He does.  The godly will rejoice in the Lord and find shelter in Him.  Al those who do what is right will praise Him."

Psalm 65:4, "What joy for those You choose to bring near, those who live in Your holy courts."

Psalm 66:5, "Come and wee what our God has done, what awesome miracles He does for His people!"

Psalm 66:8-9, "Let the whole world bless our God and sing aloud His praises.  Our lives are in His hands, and He keeps our feet from stumbling."

Psalm 66:12, "We went through fire and flood.  But You brought us to a place of abundance."

Psalm 66:19-20, "But God did listen!  He paid attention to my prayer.  Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer and did not withdraw His unfailing love from me."


In case you missed it, here is what God seems to be telling me time and time again:
Trust Me.
I will take care of You.
I am right here with You.
I am guiding You, leading You every single step of the way.
No matter where you are or how you feel, you are safe with Me.
I AM YOUR ROCK, YOUR FORTRESS, YOUR SHELTER.
So, REST and WAIT in the SHADOW OF MY WINGS.

I am no closer to knowing when we will sell our house, or where exactly our new house is, or how we are going to pay for it.  But I am sure of this: GOD Himself is my HOME.  And for now, that is MORE than enough!