Friday, June 15, 2012

Just Call Me Alexander

If you have children or are familiar with children's books, then you have heard of the story about Alexander and his terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I feel like I can relate to Alexander today.  It's been one of "those" days.

The morning actually started out pretty good.  I met with a couple for a private childbirth class.  Granted, I had both Coralyn and Kellah with me, so it was interesting to say the least.  I had told the couple to come at 9 because that is when Kellah typically takes her morning nap.  Well, she didn't get up until 8:45, so she wasn't going to be taking a nap, at least not while they were here for class!  However, I knew she would start to get cranky around 10:30...she did.  I was well prepared in regards to Coralyn, though.  I had my laptop set up in her room and said that she could have a special treat and watch a movie while I taught my class.  I put in the Little Einsteins, knowing it would give me 61 minutes without her trying to "help" me teach.  I even had Bob the Builder ready to put in so she could watch yet another movie.  Like I said, a very special treat for her.  All was well until Little Einsteins finished and Bob the Builder wouldn't work.  You would have thought the world was going to come to an end.  My sweet little girl turned into a hysterical, angry, screaming "monster."  About the same time, Kellah decided she was done playing with her toys and fussed even when I held her.  I guess the couple got to see what real life with kids is like! :)

As soon as the couple left, Kellah fell asleep and took a great nap.  I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity, so I took Coralyn downstairs to play in the play room while I painted in the bathroom.  If I had told Coralyn she had to stay in the bathroom with me and watch my every move, she would have insisted on playing in the play room all by herself.  BUT, since I suggested that she go play, she wanted to do the exact opposite and "supervise" my painting.  She didn't get in the way too much, as she entertained herself with the shampoo bottle and empty toilet paper roll in the shower (no water).  She even gave the bottle and roll names and had them act out various scenarios; it was really cute, actually.  I was able to get all the taping and trim work done.  I had just dipped the roller into the paint when Kellah woke up.  I quickly spread that paint and then hurriedly put up my supplies, but not all that well because I planned on coming back down and getting more done later while both girls took an afternoon nap.  Coralyn ran upstairs to "rescue" Kellah, and I soon followed.

I got Kellah out of her crib and settled down in the glider to feed her.  I figured Coralyn would go play in her room or the living room.  I should have known better! :)  Not a minute later, I hear a loud crash, from downstairs.  It didn't sound promising.  I was really scared that the light fixture had fallen and broken glass would be everywhere, Coralyn covered in blood.  Thankfully, it wasn't the light fixture, and there was no blood.  However, the back of the toilet hadn't fared so well.  I had taken it off and laid it on the closed toilet seat so I could better paint back behind the toilet.  I hadn't put it back, because as I said before, I planned on heading back to the bathroom as soon as both girls were napping in a couple of hours.  We would play upstairs or outside until then, so no need to put everything away...especially since Kellah was crying in her crib at the time.  Evidently, Coralyn needed to go potty while I was feeding Kellah.  Why in the world she decided to go all the way downstairs instead of just using the bathroom upstairs, just steps away from Kellah's room, I don't know!  But, for whatever reason, she had gone back downstairs and thought she could lift the back of the toilet all by herself.  That would be the loud bang that I heard!  Good news, it didn't fall on her toes or fingers.  Bad news, the back of the toilet did break.  More bad news, when I picked Coralyn up to carry her upstairs since she already had her leggings and big girl pants at her feet and couldn't walk on her own, I banged her head on the wall.  Good news, she didn't pee all over me and waited until we got to the upstairs bathroom.  Bad news, she was NOT happy with me and thought she should let me know that by screaming at me with her mean, growling "demon-child" voice.  That prompty got her sent to time-out, which resulted in more hysterical yelling.

Eventually, things calmed down.  We played for a bit and then I suggested we take a walk to the mailbox.  After we got the mail, we could play in the front yard for a bit before we came back inside to eat lunch and get ready for our afternoon naps.

I should have left the mail alone.  All I got was bills and junk mail.  Well, I did receive my free sample of Ovaltine that I requested 6-8 weeks ago!  I put the advertisement stuff in the junk pile, opened the Time Warner Cable and MGE bills and put them aside to file later.  I opened the bill from Children's Mercy Hospital thinking it too would go in the file pile, assuming it was a notice telling me that Kellah's hearing screening way back in March was so much money and that insurance had paid the expense on my behalf (that's what insurance is for right!).  Oh no, Children's Mercy was sending me a bill for $657 that needed to be paid by the end of the month!!!  What?!

I promptly went inside, got my insurance card, and called them to see what in the world was going on and why they hadn't paid for this, as I had read that it was covered.  The insurance lady informed me that the hearing screening was indeed covered, but only at a reprised amount of $434.57 which went towards meeting my deductible.  However, I would have to pay that "discounted" price of $434.57.  Well, at least I was saving $200, but I was still a bit upset that insurance didn't cover the entire amount.  Oh, the insurance lady had an answer to that as well.  You see, the hearing screening was considered "diagnostic" and not "preventative," and was thus not paid for by insurance.  If I had the hearing screening done during Kellah's well-baby check-up, then insurance would have paid for the entire amount.  Fabulous!!!  Oh wait, way back when I got the letter in the mail informing me that I was a deliquent parent and required by law to have my child's hearing screened, I did call my family doctor to set up a well-baby check-up appointment at which Kellah could have her hearing checked.  Problem: family doctor doesn't do hearing screening; only Children's Mercy Hospital does that.  Okay, so I called them and set up the appointment, figuring since my doctor referred me to them that insurance would still cover the expense.  I had no idea it was going to cost $657 to check her hearing!!!!!  I never dreamed that I would be personally responsible to pay such an outrageous amount, especially when I knew good and well that Kellah could hear just fine in the first place!!!
And the hearing screening process was a whole different "adventure" in and of itself, but I already blogged about that :)

Back to today's "fun"...

After I hung up with the insurance lady, I immediately called the hospital to inform them that I should have been billed for less.  The nice lady at Children's Mercy had no record that I should have been given the discount.  The insurance company had not contacted them with this information, so I needed to have them fax the hospital assuring that they would cover the difference.

I called the insurance company, again.  I gave them the fax number and requested that they let the hospital know I should be billed "only" $434.57 and not the original $657.  The insurance lady assured me she would get that information to the hospital and wished me a good day.  Thanks, but a good day would have been a letter letting me know that you had paid for the hearing screening in its entirety, not billing me a ridiculous amount for such a simple test!!!

Amidst the phone calls, I fed Kellah and laid her down for her afternoon nap.  I also gave Coralyn her lunch, and then had her go to her room to "rest."  After I put Kellah down in her crib, I went to check on Coralyn.  Her arms were completely covered with ink marks.  Apparently, she had run out of paper or just thought it would be more fun to draw on herself.  The Father Daughter Dance at church is tonight.  How am I supposed to get all that ink off her arms before 7 pm?!


I figured I would take of her arms after she took a nap and wasn't Miss Cranky Pants.  Kellah was napping, so I headed back downstairs to get the first coat of paint on the bathroom walls.  I was actually able to get the job done and started cleaning up, much more thoroughly this time as I figured getting a second coat on was out of the question with the way the day was shaping up so far.  I put the lid on the paint and hammered it down good.  I gathered all my brushes to take upstairs and wash.  I started wiping off the medicine cabinet, which I had been unable to remove from the wall.  In so doing, I caused the light fixture, which was on top of the cabinet because I didn't want to deal with the wires and get electricuted.  I had balanced it on the cabinet and done my best to make sure it was secure.  Yeah, not so much.  As I wiped up the last bit of paint, the light fixture fell down and the lights went out.  So now it's sitting on top of the cabinet, with half of the wires attached and half of them not.  Pretty sure I'm gonna leave that for Lawrence to take care of when he gets home.  I switched off the lights, since they weren't going to be working anyway.  I headed upstairs to get a drink of water and take a deep breath.

Five minutes later, Coralyn is yelling for me from her room.  I go in to see what could possibly be the matter.  She'd peed her pants.  Plus, she's still tired and when Coralyn wakes up tired, she cries and screams.  This, in turn, woke up Kellah from her nap.  I got Coralyn changed, again (earlier today she spilled her drink all over herself).  Coralyn was still being fussy, so I left her in her room and said she could come out when she was done being cranky.  I took Kellah out of her crib and sat down to feed her.  As soon as I did, Coralyn announced she was ready to be nice and asked for a snack.  She wanted a peanut butter sandwich.  I said no; she had one for breakfast.  She wanted graham crackers.  I said no; she had them while I was teaching my class.  She wanted a banana; I told her she needed to finish the one she started at lunch.  It was "yucky."  I told her it was just fine.  She cried.  I walked out of the kitchen to finish feeding Kellah. 

Coralyn decided her banana wasn't that yucky after all and ate it.  However, she left her lunch plate on the table.  It still had food on it, food that was enticing to T-Bone.  I noticed that T-Bone had climbed up on the chair and was looking at Coralyn's plate with wide eyes and licking his lips.  I yelled at him to get down and asked Coralyn to put her plate in the refrigerator so T-Bone wouldn't eat her food.  Coralyn started crying, thinking he had already eaten her lunch.  I assured her he hadn't and to keep him from eating it, she needed to put her plate in the fridge.  As she was taking her plate the two feet from the table to the fridge, she dropped it and spilled everything.

My friend Tiffany just texted me to see if she could come over to get our zoo pass tomorrow.  We will be out of town for Father's Day weekend, but I mentioned that she could come today.  She's going to come over this evening and hang out with me (and Kellah) while Lawrence and Coralyn are at the Father Daughter Dance (figure Kellah can get her picture taken with Daddy and Big Sister and then come home...next year she can stay longer).  Last year, Tiffany came over and we enjoyed some fondue while our husbands took our daughters to the dance.  When Coralyn got home, she puked all over (a reaction to having too much sugar).  I joked with Tiffany that we could have a repeat of last year...it would be a very fitting end to this "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day."

Maybe I should just move to Australia, but then again, Alexander's mom told him that bad days happen even in Australia. 

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