Caught Empty-Handed

I have to laugh at my daycare kiddos and my own daughter (Coralyn) at times.  The other day, we were down in the playroom and both of the boys were trying to carry so many toys that they couldn't really walk or hold everything in their hands, let alone actually play with and enjoy the toys they were clutching so desperately.  They didn't want anyone else to play with the toys.  Those toys were THEIRS, no one else could have them, or even think about even looking at them.  

Coralyn does the same thing, "all the time."  Whether it be the time she tried to carry all 14 of her stuffed animals down the hallway from her room to the living room.  Obviously, bringing them one or two at a time was not an option!  Nor was leaving a few of them behind in her room.  ALL of them -- every single last one -- simply HAD to be in the living room with her, at that very moment!  

Another time, Coralyn was attempting to hold FIVE cups.  I think we had every sippy cup in the house full, each with a different beverage of choice -- milk, water, orange juice, grape juice, and a smoothie.  Not only was she unable to drink anything from any of the cups, but she couldn't hold them all, no matter how earnestly she wanted to or how many times she tried to get them all from the kitchen to the coffee table, in one single trip.

As I was doing my best to contain my laughter, I realized that I am much the same way.  Heaven forbid, I get caught empty-handed.  I am so caught up in trying to go, go, go and do, do, do that I forget to simply BE.  I feel guilty if I am not "busy."  Surely there is something I need to be doing, something that needs to get done.  I simply can't take the time to sit down and rest or read a book or anything of that nature.  That would be lazy, and selfish.  Instead, I become consumed with trying to stay on top of things, and get somewhat stressed out in the process.  

God has been teaching me about contentment lately.  Last week, probably the same day I was laughing at my daycare kiddos for trying to carry way too many toys, I read in 1 Timothy 6:6, "Yet true godliness with contentment is in itself great wealth."  Then, two nights ago, we read in Coralyn's Bible before bed, Look at the birds.  They don't need to plant or harvest or put food in bars because Your heavenly Father feeds them.  And you are far more valuable to Him than they are.  Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?  Of course not.  Look at the lilies and how they grow.  They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.  And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't He more surely care for you?  You have so little faith!"

As we look to sell our house, I easily get extremely discouraged and frustrated.  I am ready to move yesterday! :)  BUT, I have to be content right where we are.  Absolutely nothing I can do will make our house sell faster or for more money.  Only God can bring that about, in addition to providing the financial requirements that are humanly impossible for us to fulfill.  

Hanging my head in despair, God seems to whisper time and time again in my ear that HE is our hope, that His ways are not my ways, that I can't even begin to imagine all that He has in store for us.

He has me hear "It's Only a Mountain" on the radio, for the third time today.  He gives me great reminders of His awesome power and His amazing faithfulness to His children.  He has healed Baby Levi!  He has given us the money to put a new roof on our house.  He has provided the money some friends needed for their daughter's dental work.  He has removed cancer from one of Lawrence's co-worker's moms.  A questionable sonogram turned out to be nothing of concern for another one of Lawrence's fellow third grade teacher's wife.  

Rather than try to grasp at things and hold onto them as tightly as possible, I need to LET GO of it all, surrendering my life to God, letting Him be in complete control and trusting Him to give me exactly what I need, when I need it.  Only then can I truly enjoy what God has for me, anyway.  Otherwise, I look about as ridiculous as my daycare boys and Coralyn do when they have their hands so full they can't play, let alone move at all.

"So don't worry about having enough food or drink or clothing.  Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things?  Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and He will give you all you need from day to day if you live for Him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.  So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.  Today's trouble is enough for today."