This afternoon was no different.
I was working away on the computer, getting descriptions of counted cross stitch books ready to list for ebay (don't pee your pants from all the excitement!). My pocket starts ringing, so I run upstairs to answer the phone where we actually have a signal. On my way up the stairs, I take a look at the number, not recognizing it, and preparing myself to hear, "Hello, this is so-and-so with Clay County (or Jack or Lafeyette or whatever) Children's Division, and I was wondering if you would be interested in a foster child placement...."
Sure enough, a wonderful lady from Jackson county was in her office, with a sibling group of 3 kiddos, needing a place for them ASAP. They all have the same mom, but different dads, with whom each child was living, until today. Somehow, all 3 dads tested positive for substance abuse at the court hearing earlier today, meaning that all 3 kids had to be immediately removed from each of their dad's custody and placed in foster care.
So, we get a call wanting to know if we can take the two younger kiddos, brothers ages 3 1/2 and 5 (just had his birthday actually). They were looking for another place for the 14-year old sister. I write down all the information (a few lines worth) and call Lawrence to see what he thinks.
Given this would be a long-term placement and so many different people are involved, not to mention the substance abuse and alcohol involved with the case, both of our guts told us to say no this time.
The Children's Division lady calls back, as she promised, as soon as I hang up with Lawrence. I have to tell her no, not this time. She was persistent and asked if I could take the older girl. Once again I had to say no, given that I would have been 14 when she was born and that would be somewhat awkward for me (which is why we have said we will take anyone 2 to 12 years old, but of course they will ask about kiddos on either side of your age range anyway).
I felt bad saying no, two times. I know the lady is making phone calls as fast as she can in order to find a foster home for these kiddos before her work day ends at 4 p.m. I realize she is desperate, as it's the beginning of the weekend and people may be out of town or have pre-arranged plans. I understand she most likely doesn't want to take these kiddos home with her tonight, or stay late with them in the office until some kind soul agrees to have them stay in their home. And so my heart is heavy, wishing I could do something, but knowing I can't, at least not right now. There are just too many variables involved: alcohol, substance abuse, multiple parents, most likely a long term placement, and then the cherry on top of being 8 months (on Sunday) pregnant myself.
I don't know if I have ever come out and said it point blank, but I am going to now. If you are at all interested in foster parenting, please check into it. There is such a need for good, quality foster homes with loving parents for these precious kiddos who need a safe, secure environment where they can feel accepted and appreciated and given the opportunity to reach their full potential. The pay isn't great. The road is uncertain. The details are murky in most situations. But the reward is so much greater, so worth any heartache or headaches that are basically guaranteed to come about as a result of fostering.
We've only had 2 placements, but I feel like we have learned so much from them and been changed as a result of the time these children spent in our home. I don't know when we will have more children stay with us, or what the kids will be like, but I do know I will love them for as long as they are with us. And that when they leave, part of my heart will go with them.
For now, I will do all that I can...pray for these 2 brothers and their sister, that they will find a home today where they can grow and flourish.
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