We have been reading through the Jesus Storybook Bible with Coralyn. Each night before bed we read a "story" and then discuss what it means and how we can live it out in our lives. You would think that these mini-devotions explained in two-year-old language wouldn't be that deep, but let me tell you: God sure speaks to me through them. And challenges me BIG TIME!
Last week, just before Mothers' Day nonetheless, we read the story of Jesus' arrest and crucifixion. Whew, talk about God meeting me where I am at and then some!
"A Dark Night in the Garden" based on Jesus' time in the Garden of Gethsemane the night Judas betrayed him and the religious leaders arrested him (from Luke 22, Mark 14, and John 18).
The wind was picking up now, blowing clouds across the moon, shrouding the garden in darkness.
"Stay up with me?" Jesus asked His friends. They said yes and waited under the olive trees, but they were tired and soon they fell asleep.
Jesus walked ahead alone, into the dark. He needed to talk to His heavenly Father.
He knew it was time for Him to die. They had planned it long ago, He and His Father. Jesus was going to take the punishment for all the wrong things anybody had ever done, or would ever do.
"Papa! Father!" Jesus cried. And He fell to the ground. "Is there any other way to get your children back? To heal their hearts? To get rid of the poison?"
But Jesus knew -- there was no other way. All the poison of sin was going to have to go into His own heart.
God was going to pour into Jesus' heart all the sadness and brokenness in people's hearts. He was going to pour into Jesus' body all the sickness in people's bodies. God was going to have to blame His Son for everything that had gone wrong. It would crush Jesus.
It's amazing how reading such a familar passage in words intended for a child can bring the story to life in an entirely new way! Or perhaps because I am a mom now I look at things through my "mommy lens" and see the situation differently than before I had children of my own, before I could relate to God as a parent.
Can you even begin to imagine?! To "have" to do such terrible, horrible things to your child, whom you love with all your heart? You would do anything to protect them, to keep them from harm. You would step in front of a speeding car or dive to block a bullet with your body in order to save your child. You would willingly die in their place. And yet, here is God...doing the exact opposite. Because of His love for us. This love is what compels Him to put Jesus in this tragic place, to make Him carry such a heavy burden. God is indeed dying in our place, saving us -- His dearly loved children -- from death. But to do that, He has to sacrifice His own Son in the process.
I can't even picture myself watching Coralyn or Kellah endure such pain without at least trying to help them in some way. My heart caught in my chest this weekend when Coralyn fell and hit her head. I would have to take that feeling and multiply it several billion times to even begin to understand what God must have been going through as Jesus prayed to Him in the garden that night, as they together anticipated what was about to happen.
The Storybook Bible continues:
But there was something else, something even more horrible. When people ran away from God, they lost God -- it was what happened when they ran away. Not being close to God was like a punishment. Jesus was going to take that punishment.
Jesus knew what that meant. He was going to lose His Father -- and that, Jesus knew, would break His heart in two.
Violent sobs shook Jesus' whole body.
Then Jesus was quiet. Like a lamb, "I trust you, Papa," He said. "Whatever You say, I will do."
Ahhhh! The anguish! The pain! The grief, the agony! The despair!!!
And yet, here is Jesus...accepting God's plan, willingly laying down His life. For our sake. Dying, so that we might live. It was the only way, and so Jesus got up and made His way back to the disciples, every step taking Him one step closer to the cross. To that terrible, horrible separation from His Father.
The next few pages describe Jesus' arrest and the brutal treatment He experienced at the hands of the Roman soldiers. Finally, we get to the actual crucifixion.
They nailed Jesus to the cross.
"Father, forgive them," Jesus gasped. "They don't understand what they're doing."
"You say You've come to rescue us!" people shouted. "But You can't even rescue Yourself!"
But they were wrong. Jesus could have rescued Himself. A legion of angels would have flow to his side -- if He'd called.
"If You were really the Son of God, You could just climb down off that cross!" they said.
And of course they were right. Jesus could have just climbed down. Actually, He could have just said a word and made it all stop. Like when He healed that little girl. And stilled the storm. And fed 5,000 people.
But Jesus stayed.
You see, they didn't understand. It wasn't the nails that kept Jesus there. It was love.
That right there would be enough, you would think. I have heard about Jesus' death on the cross since I was born. I could have probably recited the story of the crucifixion to you by the time I was three. But still, that night, I was moved to tears. The depth of God's love hit me all over again.
God wasn't done though. If I was already drowning, He was about to sweep me away all together.
"Papa?" Jesus cried, frantically searching the sky. "Papa? Where are You? Don't leave Me!"
And for the first time -- and the last -- when He spoke, nothing happened. Just a horrible, endless silence. God didn't answer. He turned away from his Boy.
Tears rolled down Jesus' face. The face of the One who would wipe away every tear from every eye.
Oh my goodness! To have to turn my head and ignore Coralyn or Kellah when they cry out to me for help! To know they are hurting and need me and not be able to do anything...or to choose not to do anything!!!!
Why? Why would God, who is Love, do such an awful, seemingly hateful, thing to His own Son?
The Storybook Bible goes on to explain just that:
Even though it was midday, a dreadful darkness covered the face of the world. The sun could not shine. The earth trembled and quaked. The great mountains shook. Rocks split in two. Until it seemed that the whole world would break. That creation itself would tear apart.
The full force of the storm of God's fierce anger at sin was coming down.
On His own Son.
Instead of His people.
It was the only way God could destroy sin, and not destroy His children whose hearts were filled with sin.
Then Jesus shouted out in a loud voice, "It is finished!"
And it was. He had done it. Jesus had rescued the whole world.
"Father!" Jesus cried. "I give You My life." And with a great sigh He let Himself die.
Strange clouds and shadows filled the sky. Purple, orange, black. Like a bruise.
I don't think I will ever be able to look at, hear, or read the story of Jesus' crucifixion the same again. Nor should I. Knowing the extent of God's love for me, and the sacrificed it required, should I not be willing to love Him in return...no matter the cost?!
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