Just Give Me a Break

Break me off a piece...a piece of that Kit-Kat Bar!

I haven't seen that commerical for awhile, but the song has been running through my head lately.  I haven't been craving a Kit-Kat Bar.  I'm not sure the last time I had one anyway.  No, I am focused on the other part of the jingle -- a break.  I just want a break! 

Please hear me out: I am NOT complaining about being a mom.  I love, love, LOVE being a mom.  And I love, love, LOVE my girls!  So often people see me or follow me on facebook and make the comment, "You have your hands full," or something along the lines of, "You must be busy!"  Yes and yes.  As I have said before, my hands are definitely full, but so is my heart.  I wouldn't want things to be any different.

Well, maybe I would like Kellah to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time at night, and perhaps take a nap for more than 30 minutes during the day.  But, I love my baby and am more than happy to hold her, feed her, soothe her, and play with her.  I am blessed to have this opportunity.  I know many (too many) who would give anything to wake up in the middle of the night to the cries of their precious little one.  So, as I said, I am not complaining.

Rather, I am contemplating on my frailness, my weakness, my humanity.  I am admitting that I am indeed tired, exhausted really.  I am not Superwoman.  I don't have super hero abilities or powers of any sort.  If I did, I wouldn't be asking for a break.

As I drink my coffee every morning, I think how nice it would be to have an IV hooked up to my arm that just poured caffeine to my body throughout the day.  Somehow, though, I manage to "survive" the morning rush of the girls waking up, needing to eat, changing diapers and wet pull-ups, getting all of us dressed, and out the door to enjoy the beautiful weather.  I figure maybe if I wear the girls out before lunch, they'll be nice and both take a nice, long afternoon nap...at the same time.  Wishful thinking!!!

And so we go the library and pick out a whole bag full of new books, or we play at the park, or we might go walk around at the Nature Center.  We return home hot and sweaty, hungry and thirsty.  Cranky and fussy.  The girls are wiped out.  I see them rubbing their eyes and pray that signals a good nap is around the corner.  Oh, you would think that I would have learned by now.  It's never that simple.

Yesterday, and most every day this past week, Coralyn has actually taken a nap.  Granted, at times it took her a couple of hours of playing quietly in her room to fall asleep, but sleep she did.  And once she closed her eyes, she stayed asleep for two or more hours!!!  Kellah, however, has been an insominac lately.  The poor thing must be teething (still!) because she never seems to sleep for more than 30 minutes during the day.  As soon as she does decide to take a little cat nap, Coralyn wakes up.  She's ready for a snack, and then she's off to the races once more.  "Let's go play outside, Mommy!"  If that request gets turned down, she isn't deterred for long.  She gets runs over to the library bag, grabs a stack of books, and suggests, "Let's ready all these books, Mommy!"  At least that means I get to sit down for a few minutes!!!!

Before long though, Kellah is back up and wanting to join in on the fun.  She really isn't rested, but I guess she doesn't want to miss anything either.  I get that.  I am the same way.  She is my daughter.  And like me, by bedtime she is absolutely exhausted.  And so every night I think she is going to zonk out and just sleep, sleep, sleep.  I couldn't be more wrong.  About an hour and half to maybe two hours after she finally lays down, she is up crying.  I go in, hold her and feed her.  She goes back to sleep, and I lay her down again, thinking THIS time she will surely stay asleep for an extended amount of time.  I should just set my watch because in another couple hours she is up and at 'em again.  Consistenly, her longest stretch is from 4 am to 7 am. 

Every morning, sometime between 5 and 6 am, I am awake, trying to decide if I should just get up and enjoy some quiet time to myself before the rush of the day or if I should take advantage of the opportunity to actually sleep.  It's a real dilemma.  If I get up, I don't get as much rest as I would like.  If I stay in bed, I can catch a few more zzzz's, BUT I don't get any time to myself before the girlies are needing my full attention.  I am a morning person, but after getting up 3-5 times during the course of the night, I am not ready to bounce out of bed and hit the road running.  I am doing good to get a shower and enjoy a cup of coffee while I read my Bible.  That's really all I want. 

Sure, I would love to go for a long run, come back and enjoy a nice, leisurely shower, and then sit down with a cup of coffee and dig into the Word without any thought of washing the dirty dishes stacked in the sink, getting some meat out to thaw so I can fix supper at some point, folding a load of laundry, or mopping the kitchen floor.  But, of course, that's not realistic at this time in my life.  And that's okay.  Because I would take my girls and all that being their mommy entails over my "perfect morning" any day of the week!

All this thought of having, and even deserving, a break has got me thinking.  :)

God never gets a break.  Nor does He ever ask for one. 
And His job is much, much, much more exhausting than mine is or ever will be!

I may be tired, but at least I can "check out" for a couple of minutes at some point during the day to get on facebook, write an email, or read a book.  I may have to get up multiple times during the night, but at least my head hits the pillow for an hour or two.  God doesn't get that luxury.  He never slows down.  He never rests, not even for a second.   And thank goodness!  Can you imagine what would happen if He did?!  The world would fall apart, literally!!!

So, the next time I think to myself, "I just need a break!" I need to remember to turn to God to give me the strength to finish the day.  He will.  I need to let Him help me carry my burdens.  He will. 

Above all though, I need to rest in Him.

Well, I guess that was my break for the day: Kellah's up from her nap.  She must have known what I was blogging about! :)  She must have felt sorry for me too, because she actually slept for a little over an hour!!!