What I Hear You Saying Is...

I don't know if I expressed myself very well in my last blog post. 

I don't feel like I did.

When Lawrence and I were in pre-marriage counseling with our pastor, he told us about "Drive Thru Communication."  He shared how his wife had been stressed and overwhelmed with her wife and mom duties.  At the time he was really into running and working out at the gym.  After he had ran and lifted weights he felt re-energized and ready to take on the world.  He thought his wife might feel the same way, that some time at the gym would help her relax and recoup.  And so, he kindly suggested that she should go for a run or work out like he had been doing.  He had the best of intentions, but his wife did not hear the message or heart behind his words.  Instead, she took his advice to mean that she was fat and needed to lose weight.  Of course, she was offended and deeply hurt.

Thus began their practice of "Drive Thru Communcation," in which they would repeat what the other had said using the phrase, "So what I hear you saying is..."  He described it like when you go to McDonald's and place your order: A Big Mac with no mayo, a small fry, and a Diet Coke.  The person on the other side of the microphone repeats your order: A double cheesburge with extra pickles, a medium chocolate shake, and a Mountain Dew.  Obviously, the McDonald's employee didn't hear you or simply wasn't listening, and you have to correct him and repeat your order to ensure you get what you actually want.  Finally, after several attempts, he gets your order right, you pull forward, pay for your food, and go away happy.  But it took time and multiple, "What I hear you saying is..."  For those of you who went to Berean, maybe you immediately think of Personal Growth with Mr. Homskog our freshmen year of high school! :)  Anyway...our pastor and his wife would use this form of communication to make sure they were hearing the heart behind each other's words and avoiding problems that could be easily avoided if they took the time to really listen to one other.

I guess I want a re-do, a do-over, or a "What I hear you saying is..." session.

I started out my previous post by saying that I wasn't complaining.  If I am being completely honest, I probably was complaining, at least a little bit.  I think I wanted you to feel sorry for me, to pat me on the back, to assure me that it's going to be okay, to remind me that these busy days are indeed the best days of my life (so far). 

Perhaps I just needed to vent, to express myself, to "get it all out."  Whatever the case, I don't think I really got the heart of the matter.  I am terrible at this.  I never get right to the point.  In high school and college I would turn a 2 page, double-spaced essay assignment into a 6 page, single-spaced research paper.  To say that I am verbose is an understatement.  See, I'm doing it right now: going on and on, running around in circles, chasing rabbit trails. 

What I truly intended to write last time was how thankful I am that  God never takes a break from His job as my Heavenly Father.  I can only imagine how exhausting and tiring His work is.  Not to mention frustrating, discouraging, disheartening, and so on.  And yet, He never throws in the towel or even thinks about giving up on us.  He just keeps on keeping on. 

We cry out to Him; He answers.  Even in the middle of the night.  Even if we just called out to Him thirty minutes earlier, about the same exact thing!  Even if we are whining or screaming and kicking our legs.  Even if we are being annoying and crying for no apparent reason at all.  If we cry out to Him, you can guarantee that God hears us and will respond. 

Furthermore, God never feels overwhelmed.  At least I don't think He does.  He doesn't get distracted either.  I get flustered when I wake up to a big pile of dirty dishes, and while I am washing them I start thinking about the hampers full of dirty clothes, the supper that needs to be cooked, the weeds that need pulled, the toilets that need to be cleaned, the floors that need to be swept, mopped, or vacuumed, and so on.  Before I am even able to finish my simple task of washing the dishes, I have gotten myself all worked up and feel overwhelmed with all the things I "must" get done that day.  I can just see God smiling as I think about how much I have on my plate.  While I'm concerned about dirty dishes, He's dealing with much bigger and more important things like planets orbitting and stars shining; rain falling and snow melting; giving wisdom to all the government leaders; healing the sick; providing for the basic needs of every single person.  With all this, and much more, on God's daily "to do list," you would think that your prayer request might go unheard or your situation unnoticed.  Surely God is too busy to take care of something "small" like making sure you have enough money to pay the mortgage or "trivial" like the sun shining for your family's Memorial Day bar-b-que.  And yet, this isn't true at all!  Nothing, absolutely nothing, escapes God's radar.  On top of that, He truly cares about you and all that is happening in your life, from dirty diapers to choosing a new career path.

I don't know how many times throughout the day I "just want a break."  I want a few moments to myself, to catch my breath, to hear myself think, to go to the bathroom without someone watching me.  I would much rather catch up with friends on facebook than read "Where's Mittens?" to Coralyn for the 13th time.  I would prefer reading my book on the couch, in the air conditioned living room, than pushing Coralyn in her swing, in the hot afternoon sun, for thirty minutes.  I would make the banana bread a lot faster if I didn't have Coralyn, and now Kellah, "helping" me, but I would also miss out on some pretty fun mother-daughter memories. 

I am guessing God might feel the same way.  How many times do we ask Him the same question in a 15-second time frame or try to get His attention by tugging on His arm while He is obviously working?  How often do we get on His nerves?  Oh wait, God isn't that kind of Father.  That's right.  God is never too busy for us.  He never sends us away.  He never escapes to the basement for a moment to Himself.  He's always available, always ready to meet with us, always welcoming us into His presence. 

That's what God has been impressing on my heart and mind these past few days and weeks.  That's what I truly wanted to communicate.  And so I hope that "what you hear me saying is..." how grateful I am to God for never growing tired or weary, for never giving up on me, for never asking for a break...from me.  I am so glad that God always gives me His best, that He cares about every detail of my life, and that He is always right by my side giving me the strength and energy I need to be the wife and mommy He has called me to be.  I am extremely blessed.  I want you to hear that too. 

Yes, I am busy.  Yes, I am tired.  But, once again, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Remind me of that the next time you hear me complaining, or "venting," or "getting it all out," or whatever I try to call it.