The judge actually dismissed the boys' case entirely, meaning they immediately got to return to her. I found out at 10 this morning, and by 11, there was no trace that the boys had ever been in our home (except for X-Man's bib I left hanging on the fridge from this morning's breakfast).
They've only been gone an hour and a half, and already I can feel the big empty void. Less noise, less mess/clutter...but also less laughter and fewer smiles.
I will miss T-Rex and X-Man. I only knew them for a week. But they took a piece of my heart with them this morning when they pulled out of the driveway.
We were told that we would only have the boys for a week anyway, but I figured that something would happen and we would end up having them for longer, much longer. I guess I fell in love with them and was hoping they could stay. I would have adopted them in a heartbeat. But that was not meant to be.
I am glad they get to be with their mom again. That is how things are supposed to work. This is a good story, a happy ending. So why am I so sad?
Better to have loved well, than to have never loved at all. I won't be able to hug the boys anymore, or rub their heads to mess up their curly hair, or read them stories. Chances are, I will never see them again. BUT, I will keep praying for T-Rex and X-Man, just as I still pray for Shadow.
And I will wait for that next phone call, the one that tells me who will be next to enter our home, and our hearts.
Ah, Sarah. So heartbreaking, but your quote is right...Better to have loved. Your heart is so big, and the boys were so blessed to have you and Lawrence and Coralyn for that week. Praying for you and your family and the precious boys.
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