Friday, September 16, 2011

How Many Until...?

I don't know how many times I day Carson asks me, "How many more until my mom comes?" or "How many more until we go to the library?" or "How many more until we get to play at the park?" or "How many more until we can go home?" or "How many more until so-and-so comes over?" or How many more until we go outside?" or "How many more until we can have a snack?" or...well, you get the idea! :)

If I was paid a quarter, or even a dime, for every time he asked me a question that began with "How many more until..." I would be a rich woman!

This morning as I was taking a walk, I was praying for the day and asking God to help me have patience with Carson's seemingly endless "How many more until..." questions. Just before I had been reminding God our of needs and asking Him to provide for us. It was as if I was asking Him, yet again, "How many more until you will meet our needs?" or "How many more until I will know how you are going to meet our needs?" or "How many more until I don't have to worry about our needs being met?" or...well, you get the idea! :)

I caught myself and wondered if as I was praying for patience with Carson if God was praying for patience with ME.

So today, every time Carson asks, "How many more until...?" (as I know he will) my goal is to not get frustrated, but to be reminded that I do the same thing to God. And that God is so very patient with me (and so I should be with Carson). No matter how many times I ask, or how many different ways I rephrase the question. He is still patient.

And His answer is usually the same, just like mine is to Carson. "Don't worry about it. Just play. Go, have fun. Stop worrying about the timing of everything. Relax!" Hmmm.... "Knowing exactly how many more until whatever isn't going to make it happen any faster." "Your mom always comes back at the end of the day (at the same time) to pick you up. She will pick you up today too, just like she always does." Hmmm...

"Sarah, trust me. I'm going to provide. I always do. Knowing how and when isn't going to make it happen any faster. Stop worrying and getting yourself all tied up in knots. Just relax and go about the day. Do the things you are supposed to do, and enjoy them! I've got this covered, like usual. At the end of the day, everything is going to be okay, like it always is."

I wonder if God wants to add, "How many more until you are going to trust me completely?" or "How many more until you are going to realize that I am in control and have everything taken care of, that I have had this planned for all of eternity and know every single little detail and will put everything in place at just the right time and in just the right way?" or "How many more until you are going to 'be still and know that I am God?'" or...well, you get the idea :)

So, I guess I have one more goal for the day, in addition to being patient with Carson -- and maybe Coralyn too, as she has her own little things that she does that cause me to pray :) My goal is to not ask God any "How many more until..." questions, but just to rest in His presence and enjoy sweet fellowship with Him.

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