Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Great Unknown

I hate not knowing what is going to happen. I am a planner. I like to know all the details, to have all my ducks in a row. I am learning that this is simply not possible as a foster parent...

Today the boys have a court hearing. The judge will decide if they can go back with their mom, or if they will need to stay in alternative care for a longer time, giving the mom more time to set up house and get ready to be a parent again.

If the judge rules that the mom regains custody, then the boys will leave today, or tomorrow. I guess even that isn't for certain. Either way, we will have to say good-bye. The extra bedroom will once again be empty, and things will be a lot quieter around here! (and maybe I will get to enjoy more of the morning by myself :) Life will be much simpler, less busy, hectic, chaotic. But, it will also be emptier...there won't be blonde-haired, blue-eyed boys running/crawling around, giving me (and the baby) hugs or kisses, making me laugh, or filling my heart with joy.

BUT, if the judge rules that mom needs more time before she can get the boys back, they will stay with us...until the next court hearing. And I don't know exactly when that is. Maybe the end of October. Maybe the end of November. Like I said, it's all unknown at this point.

And the suspense is nearly killing me. I don't do so well with all these unknowns.

Yet, God is apparently trying to teach me that I don't have to know everything. In fact, He doesn't want me to know everything. That is what faith and trust are all about, isn't it?

So, today I wait...

Today I trust God with all these unknowns, thankful that He is certain of what will happen, that He knows all the details, and has everything perfectly under control, working everything out in the very best way possible.

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