Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, discouraged and disheartened, worried and anxious. I have let my circumstances control my attitude. My present situation has dictated what I think about, how I act, and most importantly my outlook on life.
Sadly, I have felt pretty glum. Yet, God keeps showing me glimmers of hope. At times the glimmers turn into big bright rays of sunshine, but for the most part, they have been small little glimpses of the light that is indeed at the end of the proverbial tunnel I feel like I am in right now. But little glimpses are all I really need to keep going. They light my way enough to take one more step. And isn't that how I am supposed to follow Jesus anyway...step by step. One day at a time, sometimes one hour (or even one minute) at a time.
As I have been contemplating my present circumstances, I have let myself become overcome with fear and anxiety rather than resting in God's goodness and faithfulness. Shame on me. Not only have I doubted God, but I have become overly consumed with my life and my problems, forgetting that there are countless others who are hurting and in need of help. Others who are in much more dire circumstances than me.
God decided to get my attention today, to refocus my vision, to get my perspective in line with His. I put all the kiddos down for their naps (I have 3 of them today, and they are all sleeping at the same time, so that in itself is a glimmer of hope! :) and sat down to read for a minute or two. The radio was on and the DJ began talking about the situation in Africa...Somalia, I believe. She was sharing about the drought and famine there which has been further complicated by a recent outbreak of measles. Talk about some glum circumstances! And here I am stressing out about the status of our bank account. Yeah, I get frustrated when Coralyn wants yet another snack, but at least I have food to give her to eat. And not just 3 meals a day, but snacks in between! I can't even begin to imagine being a mother in Somalia right now...listening to your starving child crying because he's hungry and not being able to do anything to comfort or help him! Or watching your child scratch and itch at her measles, whining that she's hurting, and not being able to give her anything to relieve the pain.
And so my mindset has shifted. My problems haven't disappeared, but they have certainly become a lot smaller in the last 10 minutes. My mountains have been reduced to molehills, where they should have been all along.
I guess it all boils down to how I look at life. Today, I am going to try to do better to see things from God's perspective. He probably has a much better view anyway, seeing as how He knows the story beginning to end. Not to mention He is actively writing it one chapter, one page, one letter, at a time. Who better for the job than the "author and perfecter of my faith?!"
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