Praying Like Elijah

Ah, I have so many thoughts running through my head right now, so forgive me in advance if this post seems jumbled and mumbled and bumbled and tumbled. I think that is all the umbled words I can come up with off the top of my head. See, I am already talking nonsense.

My life changed (yet again) on Wednesday morning when I ran into a friend from church at Target. Stacey informed me that she had just gotten word that our friend Grace had some complications during labor and both her and the baby had been rushed to the hospital. Immediately, my heart was torn to pieces. Between our tears, we prayed right there in the middle of the aisle. Stacey didn't have much information, but she promised to keep me posted. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I continued to pray for Grace and her baby boy. I had no idea how bad the situation was, but I had faith that God would make everything all better.

A week later, I am still holding on to that hope. I am still praying fervently for Baby Samuel. I now realize the gravity of the situation and how completely dependent we are on God to make everything all better. In fact, without Him there is no way that things will change or improve. We need a miracle, and so I keep on praying. Day and night. Night and day. I have run out of words to say, and so I just keep praying the same thing over and over and over again, "God, please heal Baby Samuel."

As my days have become consumed with praying for this precious baby boy, I can't help but think that time should freeze. Everyone in the world should stop whatever they are doing and pray for Baby Samuel. Don't they realize that his parents have spent the entire last week in a hospital room watching their newborn son get hooked up to wires and undergo medical treatment? Don't they understand how tired and worn out they are, how desperate they are for their son to be healed? Can't they sense the heaviness that is in the air? Why then are people shopping for shoes? How dare people yell and scream at the top of their lungs with giddy excitement as they watch a live performance by the newest boy band? How rude that people take advantage of a sunny day and play at the park or visit the zoo? Wipe that smile off your face! Stop laughing! Don't you know that you should be crying for this little boy and his family, pouring your heart out to God, begging Him to do a miracle?

I have been so torn and confused with my emotions. As I look at Coralyn and Kellah, I am overwhelmed with gratitude, so thankful for two healthy, beautiful girls. When I play with them and read to them, I am blown away with how blessed I am. When we have gone to the park and the zoo this week, I have certainly enjoyed myself. But, at the same time, I can't help but feeling guilty. When Kellah coos at me or gives me one of her priceless smiles, I can't help but think of Baby Samuel. I can't imagine being in Grace's shoes, having waited nine long months to meet your precious baby, to hold and kiss him and cuddle with him and have him look back up at you with those sweet eyes and smile because he knows he is safe in his mama's arms. And then this happens. When Kellah wakes up in the middle of the night to eat, I may be tired and wish that she had given me another hour of sleep, but there is no way I can complain. I am sure that Grace would love to feed her Baby Samuel at 3 am, and 4 am, and 5 am... When Coralyn cries and whines and fights going to bed (or taking a nap), it is so easy for me to get frustrated and annoyed. But I am catching myself. I bet Grace would love to hear her Baby Samuel cry. And so I am left wondering how in the world I am supposed to feel, how I am supposed to act, knowing that my friend is hurting so much and I can't do anything for her or her baby (except to keep on praying!).

Sunday the weather was perfect for my mood. Rainy, dreary, overcast. The past three days have been absolutely gorgeous, in the 70's and 80's, sun shining, birds chirping, etc., etc. This doesn't seem right. On the other hand, it is fitting. It gives us hope that God will shine His light on this dark situation, that He will turn this mourning into laughter, this weeping into dancing.

I read in Psalm 75 this morning,

"We thank You, O God! We give thanks because You are near. People everywhere tell of Your wonderful deeds!"

God is near. He is right here in the midst of us as we pray for Baby Samuel. He knows our pain, our grief, our desperate desire for miraculous healing. Psalm 34:18 says, "God is close to the brokenhearted." Psalm 147:3 is even better, "God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

I don't know who all is praying for Baby Samuel, but I am sure with facebook and twitter and blogs and such that people all around the world have heard his story and joined together to cry out for God to work on this little boy's behalf. And when God does, you better believe that "people everywhere will tell of His wonderful deeds!" It's going to be a global celebration when we get word that Baby Samuel is all better.

This kind of faith is a hard thing for me. Maybe it's because I don't understand how prayer works exactly. I know that God is totally and completely capable of healing Baby Samuel. He wouldn't even break a sweat. I know that countless people are fasting and praying on his behalf. Many, many of these people I regard as prayer warriors who are overflowing with the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. I consider them to have giant-sized faith. And so I wonder why God hasn't answered our prayers yet? Why hasn't He seemed to respond to our cries for help, our desperate pleas for His mercy? I don't know. I have no answers. And I don't like that, not at all.

But I can't give up. So I will keep on doing the only thing I know to do: pray, pray, and then pray some more. More than that though, I have to keep on believing that God truly can work a miracle here. I can't let doubt creep its way into my heart and mind. I have to read the words of Scripture and trust God to stay true to His promises. I don't know how that will all play out, as I don't know God's timing or fully understand what He is doing in the grand scheme of life. "His ways are not my ways, and His thoughts are not my thoughts."

Well, Kellah is waking up from her nap, and so I must finish with these thoughts on prayer:

James wrote, "the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well." He says, "the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

He goes on to encourage us, "Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops."

Elijah prayed, and fire came down.

Moses prayed, and the people walked across on dry ground.

Peter prayed, and a lame man walked for the first time in his entire life.

Paul prayed, and a woman was raised from the dead.

Hannah prayed, and she had a son. She named him Samuel. She dedicated him to the Lord. His whole life was spent serving God and making His Word known.

Grace, too, had a son and named him Samuel. Grace and her family and friends and complete strangers prayed for Samuel. I have to believe that this boy too will do awesome things for our God, bringing massive amounts of glory to His name.