He cuts straight to the chase, "Think about it. Would you say that your life is marked right now by desperation for the Spirit of God? Would you say that the church you are a part of is characterized by this sense of desperation?"
I was delighted that I didn't have to hesitate, but could quickly and confidently answer with a big fat, "YES!" Now, more than ever before, I am desperate for God. I am realizing more and more my need for Him, my total and complete dependence on Him, that my life is meaningless and hopeless without Him. I have to have Him come through for me. If not, I am left with the impossible, and even worse without any hope of that changing.
For the past two weeks, I have been praying almost non-stop for Baby Samuel. I am desperate for God to act on behalf of this precious baby boy. This situation, more than any other, has challenged my faith and caused me to question, "Do I really believe God? Do I truly take Him at His Word?" If so, then I need to act like it. I need to pray, in faith, that God can heal this baby boy, that He can make him whole and well, as if there was never anything wrong.
And I have. I keep waiting, with anticipation, to hear the good news that Baby Samuel is "all better." Every day, every ten minutes or so, I want to check facebook and read a post about the miracle God has done. I have been joined by many others in this quest, and that has emboldened me and encouraged me to keep on praying with such faith, with such tenacity before our God.
God hasn't answered our prayers yet, not completely anyway. BUT, He has shown His power and done things that only He can do. He must be given the glory for the fact that Baby Samuel is opening his eyes, grabbing fingers, moving his arms and legs, breathing on his own, and eating his mama's milk through the tube. All those things are medically impossible, BUT God is not limited by our human resources. He is the Great Physican, Jehovah-Rapha (healer). And He is at work in Baby Samuel, no question about it.
And yet, I want more. I am desperate for God to completely and totally heal this baby boy. And so, I keep praying, in faith. I keep anxiously awaiting the news that our prayers have been answered, that our knocks have been heard and the door has been swung wide open!
I think God has been building up my faith, preparing me for this situation perhaps. Granted, I am "just" a prayer warrior in this instance. I am not watching my own child lay in a hospital bed, nor do I want to be, but I am praying as if it were my own son. I know Grace would do the same for me. So, while I am not necessarily on the front lines of this particular battle, I have been there before. Last fall and this winter, our financial situation was such that we were desperate for God. We were certainly at the end of ourselves and HAD to have God come through for us and provide for our needs, which He did -- in abundance. He did the impossible, giving us the money to pay our bills, put food in the fridge and gas in our cars. Not only that, He gave us MORE than we needed, so that we in turn could bless others. And He continues to blow me away with His provision. Right now I am teaching a childbirth class with three couples, two of them drive at least 2 hours, ONE WAY, to get to class. Next month, I am doing a private class with a couple from Springfield! The only explanation for this: God has arranged for these people to get pregnant, find out about my childbirth classes, contact me, and set up the classes. On top of all that, God is working it out for me to watch a couple of awesome kiddos next year, meaning that we will have a consistent income once again.
I am tempted to take a sigh of relief and start thinking, "Ah, we are good to go." But, I am learning that this is NOT what God wants. He wants me to STAY in a state of desperation, a place where I am aware of my total dependence on Him, my complete and utter need for Him. He wants me to keep coming to Him, calling out to Him, desperate for more of Him in every area of my life.
As David Platt writes, "In direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts His people in situations where they come face to face with their need for Him. In the process He powerfully demonstrates His ability to provide everything His people need in ways they never could have mustered up or imagined. And in the end, He makes much of His own name."
Well, right now the Allens are certainly in a situation where they are face to face with their need for God. As, as their church family, we too are at that place, as we come before the throne of God on their behalf and plead for Him to heal Baby Samuel. As we get on our knees and cry out to God, we have faith and believe God will hear and respond to our prayers, that He will do a miracle! In doing so, God will bring much glory to His name. Our cries will turn to shouts of joy and praise. We will jump up and down, declaring God's awesome power and telling everyone we know of His wonderous deeds!
Platt's words are both encouraging and challenging, "The power of the One who raised Jesus from the dead is living in us, and as a result we have no need to muster up our own might. Our great need is to fall before an almighty Father day and night and to plead for Him to show His radical power in and through us, enabling us to accomplish for His glory what we could never imagine in our own strength. And when we do this, we will discover that we were created for a purpose much greater than ourselves, the kind of purpose that can only be accomplished in the power of His Spirit."
And so, I pray once more that God, who raised Jesus back to life, will touch Baby Samuel and heal him completely. May His power be made known in a huge way, and may much glory be given to His holy name!
I know that I have posted a lot about Baby Samuel in the past two weeks, but I can't help myself. God is using this baby boy to teach me a lot about faith and prayer and what it really means to be a desperado, a woman who is passionately and earnestly seeking after Jesus as though her life totally and completely depended on Him alone. Because it does...
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